ANNE MCKEE: Is nagging necessary?

Published 11:45 am Thursday, February 1, 2018

I have been running a little survey. I wonder how you feel about nagging. Is it important in your world? Do you include a time for nagging in your daily planner? In my world there is a need for nagging and as well a time set aside to, well, nag. My reasoning is listed below.

How can one expect a calm, serene, industrious and thoughtful husband, boyfriend, son or any other breathing male reach their full potential without any pressure, i.e., nagging?

Hey, are you in a coma? Come into the REAL world!!

No, I don’t limit my nagging only to Hubs, who I admit is the person most in need of this special talent of mine; and I do nag with love and with my true nagging heart. I tell him, “Just consider yourself lucky, I could spend my precious nagging time pursuing others, but I have chosen you!!”

And I must admit he is convinced, I think.

I have committed to nag with an unprejudiced eye – that eye; my blue instrument of scope is used to seek out the offender in need of a good nagging! Yes I know, it is not politically correct but the last time I checked I wasn’t running for office – don’t have time; too busy nagging, you know. If I don’t do it, then who will?

Do you get a mental picture when you think of the verb nag? I like to think of my specialty being a subtle nag. My technique is to move in with my nag of the day (or nag of the hour – it can vary) so quickly that it is all over before the recipient can figure out what happened – then maybe a couple of hours later or even a couple of days or months have passed before the full effects made by this nagger whacks the naggee over the head. Now folks that takes timing, planning, and of course, a mental vice controlled by a brain that takes no enemies – but most of the time I can pull if all off very nicely.

By all means I am an Equal Opportunity nagger. I feel that I should spread my nagging wealth to all who deserve it. Nag high, nag low, nag in, nag out, makes no difference, I have found. I try to walk-the-nag-as-I talk-the-nag because I am the first to admit that I am a full-blown nagger. Likewise it has taken many, many years of intense study and practice to reach the level of nagging that I am now privileged to proclaim. They say to be successful in anything one must enjoy the toils; the enjoyment part has really been the easiest for me. Oh, so much to nag and so little nagging time – such inspiration to do the best nagging that is in me, but I can handle it!

As I continue to march along my path to Nag-ville, I can recall, with a nagging delight, the many successes of this deep-seated talent of mine. Memories of the very first nag are precious to me as well as my most recent nags. Some of my best nags are downright famous. I received long-distance calls and the mail was unbelievable – everyone asked for my nagging secret.

I would just give my very best Mona Lisa smile and quote one of my favorite personalities from the past, a famous Hollywood star, Mae West. She said, “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

Oh, I find that so-o-o profound! That’s right up by Nag Alley! I couldn’t have said it better my nagging self. And remember, nagging spelled backwards is gniggan. No, it doesn’t mean anything to me either!

Now back to my first question in this nagging narrative. Is nagging necessary? After this insight into the mindset of a real nagger, can you not agree that nagging is necessary? Can you not admire the smart thinking that is required to hone the nagging art? Can you not appreciate and learn at the knee of a genuine nagger, such as myself.

Oh, and don’t feel sorry for Hubs He thinks he’s lucky.

Anne McKee is a Mississippi historian, writer and storyteller. She is listed on the Mississippi Humanities Speakers Bureau and Mississippi Arts Commission’s Performing Artist and Teaching Artist Rosters. See her website: www.annemckeestoryteller.com.