Holding his boyfriend’s hand in public for the first time in 2012 made Nykolas Alford feel like he was 12 years old, worried about who might see them and somewhat embarrassed by the public affection.

“Holding your boyfriend’s hand without looking behind you to see who’s watching,” Alford said. “That’s not something that straight couples have to think about.”

Nearly two years later, in protest of Mississippi Senate Bill 2681 in 2014, Alford and his boyfriend, Stephen Thomas kissed on the steps of the Mississippi State Capitol building in Jackson, a long step away from the initial shyness over hand-holding.

Today, the two Meridian residents are engaged to be married and part of a lawsuit against Mississippi House Bill 1523, a bill similar to SB 2681. On Tuesday, after more than a year’s delay, HB 1523 became law.

The law “will let government workers and business people cite their own religious objections to refuse services to gay couples,” as reported by the Associated Press, protecting three specific beliefs: “that marriage is only between a man and a woman, sex should only take place in such a marriage, and a person’s gender is determined at birth and cannot be altered.”

Opponents of the law argue it will promote discrimination against LGBT individuals and legal experts call it one of the broadest religious-objections laws since the U.S. Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in 2015. Proponents argue that these claims of persecution are exaggerated, that the law is designed to protect religious freedom. 

Following the kiss in protest, a friend with the American Civil Liberties Union of Mississippi asked Alford, 28, and Thomas, 27, to be a part of a lawsuit against HB 1523, which Gov. Phil Bryant signed into law in April 2016. As a couple hoping to marry in Mississippi, the law would directly affect them and their wedding plans.

TOM

“This type of law is really on the wrong side of history. It really discriminates against a whole group of people based on who they are. It doesn’t give them equal dignity under the law. It really just enshrines in the law, to go back to the Civil Rights (movement), a second-class citizenship for certain people in this area and that’s unacceptable.”

ACLU attorney Joshua Tom

Thomas described a nervous thought process as the couple considered whether or not they wanted the exposure. Becoming the public face of a lawsuit would mean getting hateful, intolerant messages on social media and their employers might not want the publicity. It would be a bigger step than holding hands, or even kissing, in public.

“Eventually we decided to do it because somebody needed to do it,” Thomas said.

On May 9, 2016, the ACLU of Mississippi filed a lawsuit challenging HB 1523 in their name, Alford(-Thomas) v. Moulder. Judy Moulder, the Mississippi State Registrar of Vital Records, oversees marriage records in addition to divorce, death and birth records.

The suit argues that as a couple engaged to be married, Alford and Thomas face discrimination as a result of this law.

A judge stayed the case a year ago and allowed a separate case, Barber v. Bryant, against the bill to precede. With the case on hold, Alford and Thomas can only wait and worry now that the law is in effect.

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A couple like any other

Throughout their interview for this report, Thomas and Alford interrupted each other, correcting dates and adding important information. Their mutual love of tennis and pop artists such as Beyoncé and Lady Gaga brought them together in 2012 at a previous workplace, where they sold cable packages. Alford had a boyfriend at the time and when Thomas approached him, he told Thomas they could only be friends.

“He was still in a bad relationship and I helped him out as much as I could as far as dealing with this guy. I did my best to be a good friend,” Thomas said. “I had a crush on him and didn’t want to overstep… so I had to wait.”

“We were friends first but we segued into a relationship,” Alford said.

Their first date, after Alford’s breakup, started at a tennis court and ended with hours of dancing in the parking lot.

“We were playing doubles one night and I ended staying later and teaching him a few Lady Gaga dances because that’s what I do,” Stephen said.

“Our first date was us playing tennis (and) ditching two other friends – who didn’t even know how to play tennis — because Stephen and I are really competitive. Once they left we really got into it,” Alford said. “Then we ended up doing Lady Gaga and Beyonce songs in the parking lot all night, which is how I learned it. It’s pretty fun. And I still remember (the dances).”

Later, Alford would give Thomas a painting of a photo they took on that first date, something he still cherishes.

“I don’t date to date, I date to marry,” Alford said about the seriousness of the relationship. “We can be friends but I’m not that kind of person.”

In the months leading up to the proposal in late 2014, the two discussed and shopped for rings. Alford planned a big proposal at a charity event but, when the ring wasn’t ready, he nixed the idea.

“He was supposed to propose after (this) event and he had it all arranged – he told (our friends), the musicians – and everyone was coming up to me and smiling so I knew something was going on,” Thomas said.

A few weeks later, ring in hand, Alford seized the opportunity on Christmas Eve of 2014.

“We were with a few friends and he was being awkward, obviously up to something,” Thomas said. “I go to the kitchen and I turned around and he was on his knee.”

“I wanted it to do it at the event or do it at the tennis court but I worried that if I put the ring on the racket it might fall off, or if I put in the bag it might fall out,” Alford said. “And if our families had been invited it would have been awkward and then he would have known. I told a couple friends about it and they wanted to be there so when we were hanging out I just popped the question.”

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‘A big deal for two gay black guys in Mississippi’

Alford, a Meridian native, lived on his own after he came out to his parents and they kicked him out of their home at the age of 19. They didn’t communicate much until a year or so later, when they started to rebuild their relationship.

“It took some getting used to… it took awhile. Some people I still don’t talk to,” Alford said. “They used to have prayers for me, trying to ‘Pray away the gay’ for me. There are some family members who I talk to but I won’t go to their house or call them. I used to (do that) but now I know where they stand on it and I’m not going to keep bringing myself to them.”

Thomas was born in Meridian and spent a significant part of his youth in Rockwall, Texas with his mother. He said his mother had reservations about the relationship initially, but ultimately said she loved and supported him.

“There’s always going to be that one cousin who doesn’t like you or your lifestyle,” Thomas said. “My dad has been extremely supportive of both of us… I’m blessed because a lot of kids don’t have that support.”

On Christmas Day, at a family dinner, a cousin noticed Thomas’ ring and, before they had a chance to plan their own announcement, the news was out.

Thomas said that, today, Alford keeps up with his family better than he does. And while some friends and family disagree, many have been actively involved in the wedding planning process, a process that, admittedly, has taken a few years.

Thomas, joking at Alford’s expense, said he’d love to go to the courthouse now and get married.

“I’m the kind of person that’s just like, ‘Hey, let’s get married. Let’s get it done and then have a big ceremony or a big reception later on and just trick everybody into thinking we’re still engaged,’ ” Thomas said. “Just get that done and not have as much pressure as far as the wedding is concerned.”

“And I’m the opposite,” Alford said. “Not necessarily a big ceremony but there are a lot of people who want to help us and want to be involved… We have ways of having the wedding but I think it’s about the timing.”

“We have so many people who are saying, ‘We love you, we support you and here is our show of support.’ And I feel blessed, really, to be surrounded by people like that,” Thomas said. “There are no pitchforks, no lynch mob and that’s a big deal for two gay black guys in Mississippi.”

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‘This affects a lot more than just gay people’

“It’s nice to know we’ve got a lot of friends who don’t want us to see that,” says Nykolas Alford,  recounting the only public confrontation he can remember with his boyfriend, Stephen Thomas.

A drunk man dropped or threw his beer on the ground near their feet and friends of the couple immediately, though unnecessarily, defended them.

“And that’s the thing; most Mississippians don’t want this legislation. This affects a lot more than just gay people, but even if it just affected gay people, it’s still wrong. There’s no place for discrimination in America in 2017. We really don’t want to go back to that era where you can discriminate against someone based on their race or whether they have a child out of wedlock,” Alford said.

For Alford, many of the heterosexual couples he knows would also be affected by this law.

“Think of how many people you know who are boyfriend and girlfriend with kids, or even without kids, and they live together. They could be kicked out of the place they’re living under this law. If I’m a landlord and that violates my ‘sincerely held religious belief’ that they live together without being married? That’s very important,” Alford said.

Joshua Tom, a staff attorney with the ACLU working on the couple’s case, has practiced law for eight years and focuses on civil rights law.

“The law was specifically a counter-punch or reaction to the Supreme Court’s legalizations of same-sex marriage,” Tom said. “The legislature and various people who passed the law in Mississippi were not shy about saying, when this bill was being debated and passed, that they specifically don’t agree with same-sex marriage and this bill was passed to further that belief.”

Tom explained that U.S. District Court Judge Carlton Reeves stayed the case one year ago, keeping the case on the docket but allowing Barber v. Bryant, another lawsuit against HB 1523, to precede before it.

Just before the law was scheduled to take effect on July 1, 2016, Reeves struck down HB 1523, saying the law “does not honor (this country’s) tradition of religion freedom, nor does it respect the equal dignity of all of Mississippi’s citizens.”

More About HB 1523

For a look at past coverage about Mississippi House Bill 1523, check out these stories (from oldest to newest):

• Young: Bill 1523 is discriminatory
• OUR VIEW: Flames of the past burn in Mississippi
• Mayor: We’re open for business
• Legal pressure may be ahead for law denying service to gays
• ACLU sues Mississippi over ‘religious rights’ law
• Federal appeals court upholds Mississippi ‘religious freedom’ law
• AG refuses to appeal HB 1523 lawsuit
• Courts, public judge HB 1523

“The law sets out wide-ranging schemes of things that government officials, businesses and private citizens can discriminate against LGBT people and also unmarried people,” Tom said. “For example, in our case, they could try to go to the clerk in Meridian and try to get a marriage license and under this law, 1523, it allows clerks… they could refuse to give Nykolas and Stephen a marriage license because of their sincerely held religious belief that marriage should only be between a man and a woman.”

Tom described that example as the “tip of the iceberg” when it came to possible ways to discriminate under HB 1523.

Judges from a higher court, the Fifth Circuit Court, allowed the law to go forward, saying the plaintiffs in Barber v. Bryant hadn’t shown that they had been injured or would imminently suffer injury under the law.

“So that injury requirement is something that’s necessary to bring a lawsuit in federal court,” Tom said. “The 5th Circuit only said the plaintiffs in Barber v. Bryant didn’t have standing, (it) didn’t decide at all on the constitutional merits of the law.”

Because the argument in Alford(-Thomas) v. Moulder differs, Tom said he expected the case to be allowed to precede. 

“Our case is a little bit different,” Tom said. “We have ACLU of Mississippi members, including Nykolas and Stephen, who are engaged to be married in the near future. They intend to get married in Mississippi. They’ve already started to scout out venues, scout out officiants, scout out musicians, caterers, etc. Eventually they will go to the clerk, probably in Meridian, and try to get a marriage license. At any one of these stages somebody could discriminate against them. Particularly as their marriage gets closer and closer and particularly as each one of these steps is crossed the imminency of injury is so great that even under the Fifth Circuit’s decision, which reversed the district court decision, even under that decision it leaves open the door that our theory of standing is still sufficient.”

In July, Lauderdale County Circuit Clerk Donna Jill Johnson said the law’s implementation would not affect marriage equality at the courthouse. She added that, from what she knew, it was the same across the state. 

“That’s not happening, and talking to the 81 counties in the state, everyone’s been doing it,” Johnson said. “There’s been no opposition, and everyone is just doing the job they were elected to do.”

On Tuesday, the same day HB 1523 became law, the plaintiffs in Barber v. Bryant appealed the Fifth Circuit Court’s decision to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Rob McDuff, the lead attorney for the lawsuit, described HB 1523 and its ilk to the Associated Press as “LGBT discrimination disguised as religious freedom. By promoting discrimination in the name of religion, HB 1523 violates both the First and the Fourteenth Amendments.”

Opponents argue HB 1523 violates the First Amendment because it shows a preference for one religion, Christianity, over all others. The Fourteenth Amendment, which was added just after the Civil War, says that states cannot make or enforce a law which infringes on the privileges of citizens. 

ALFORD

“There’s no place for discrimination in America in 2017. We really don’t want to go back to that era where you can discriminate against someone based on their race or whether they have a child out of wedlock.”

Nykolas Alford

“I think anybody with a clear eye believes… that 1523 favors certain religious beliefs over other religious beliefs. That favoring of religious beliefs over others violates the First Amendment in our opinion,” Tom said. “That all goes to say that our case will eventually go forward and should go forward and we look forward to trying to strike this law down.”

For Tom, this law falls on the wrong side of history.

“This law really is the most extreme anti-LGBT law of this kind in the whole country,” Tom said. “This type of law is really on the wrong side of history. It really discriminates against a whole group of people based on who they are. It doesn’t give them equal dignity under the law. It really just enshrines in the law, to go back to the Civil Rights (movement), a second-class citizenship for certain people in this area and that’s unacceptable.”

When Bryant signed the bill in April of 2016, he released a statement that said it would “protect sincerely held religious beliefs and moral convictions of individuals, organizations and private associations from discriminatory action by state government or its political subdivisions… this bill does not limit any constitutionally protected rights or actions of any citizen of this state under federal or state laws.”

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Going back in time

Alford and Thomas got engaged in December of 2014, nearly six months before the U.S. Supreme Court ruled on same-sex marriage and granted all couples the right to marry, regardless of sexual orientation. 

In February of 2016, HB 1523 was referred to a Judiciary B committee in the Mississippi House of Representatives, one of the first steps to make HB 1523 law. Bryant signed the bill just two months later, giving Alford and Thomas less than a year to celebrate.

For Alford, it brought him back to a different time. 

“My mom’s godmother was a huge civil rights activist. She was one of the girls who was locked in jail in the 1960s, brutalized and all that kind of stuff. She was always a big supporter of civil rights, even met Martin Luther King, Jr. back in the day. When we were kids, she would always tell us about the things that she went through and why it’s important to vote, why it’s important to make change, why it’s important to protest… Because we’re all human beings and none of us should be treated as a second class citizen. And that’s really how I felt about it.

“It made me feel like I was not human anymore, like I’m a second-class citizen to straight people,” Alford said.

Being a part of this lawsuit has already affected Alford and Thomas. Young teens approach them, asking them for advice on talking to their parents about their sexuality. Older couples thank them for being so open about their relationship.

“I remember this couple, two older men who told us, ‘We decided to finally get married after 30 years together,’ ” Thomas said. “People are starting to be OK with themselves.”

Both worried that without further momentum, things wouldn’t improve for the gay community in Mississippi.

THOMAS

“I feel blessed, really, to be surrounded by people like that… There are no pitchforks, no lynch mob and that’s a big deal for two gay black guys in Mississippi.”

Stephen Thomas

“I love Mississippi. I don’t want to leave because I feel like Mississippi’s going back in time. If anything, I want to stay to make sure they don’t go back in time,” Alford said.

Meanwhile, the future of Alford and Thomas, and many other couples in Mississippi, remains intertwined with this law. As the lawsuits make their way through court, Alford and Thomas can only wait and hope it doesn’t affect their wedding plans.

“It’s not about the water fountains, just like it’s not about the wedding cake. It’s never been about either one of those,” Alford said. “It’s about the gayness or blackness of someone and we just happen to be both of those.”