Being nice should be easy, but …

You remember that time, don’t you, when you went out of your way to be nice, to uplift someone, to go beyond what was expected, to offer a gift for no reason other than you wanted to be nice and helpful and then, your efforts were snubbed and ignored. Uh-huh …

Lesson learned – just be nice and move on, but it is aggravating, isn’t it? The greatest benefit for you and everyone, reaped from such an experience is to remember being nice isn’t for a personal reward. The act of niceness comes from a generous and loving heart.

You remember what Granny always said – “If you are as nice as you look, then everything will be OK.” But it seems during this 21st Century and perhaps even earlier in time; folks have forgotten this type of Granny-advice. Our world is wham-bam, talk fast, move fast, walk over the insignificant ones, cut corners and sometimes, even cut throats. Not nice.

I remember the Randy Newman song:

You’ve Got a Friend (in part)

When the road looks rough ahead

And you’re miles from your warm bed

…

As the years go by

Our friendship will never die.

You’ve got a friend in me.

We will all travel rough roads and will long for true friendships. I have found the truest of friendships come from the nicest of people. Maybe a corny sentiment but I’ve never claimed to be cosmopolitan – just a southern gal trying to make my way in a sometimes cutthroat world, but niceness will see me through.

These days it would seem that nice is not politically-correct, or in-the-loop, maybe sort of dorky and certainly not upper class. Living the nice lifestyle perhaps is more nonaggressive, maybe even a wimp.

News flash – nice is still in style. Yes, if you look closely, there are still nice, generous people. We just don’t have as many truly good, nice people in this world – even in the Deep South, which is our last stronghold of niceness.

I have found when searching for nice people that they seem to have a glow about their countenance. There are genuine smiles upon their faces. Immediately, when I ascertain a nice person is in my presence, I feel relaxed and comfortable and there is no need to watch my back. When speaking their eyes make a direct connection with mine, no looking at the floor or darting around. Ah yes, they are out there, we just must seek – seek the nice.

And yes, I have made life-long friends from a one-time-niceness encounter. My life has been enriched and I have learned from our friendship how important the nice lifestyle can be. I have a long way to go, but I have sought to put myself on the nice pathway, trying, trying, trying, not only to receive but to give niceness. I seek to surround myself with the nice people of the world. Oh, sometimes one not so nice type will sneak into my life but I hope perhaps to stage an intervention with them – to convert one more person into a nice lifestyle. I guarantee the one converted will feel better and perhaps even look better. The glow of niceness is nice.

I must quickly say that nice people are found among every social level – even politicians. Actually Meridian and Mississippi as well have very nice public-servants. Plus there are some very nice wealthy people, accomplished people and thank God, leaders who live in our area.

So dear friends, when you feel ignored, snubbed and even forgotten, it is not all a bad thing. Just think, there are some people who feel you are nonaggressive and yes, nice. When those ones who were making a pat-on-the-back list forgot you, perhaps they thought “it won’t matter because he/she will just smile and be nice, as usual.”

But I truly believe somewhere in eternity there is a niceness list and each day, moment and time a nice deed is done there is a note, marked by angels. The note details: who, what, where and when. Plus, an additional note could be written about the reaction of the niceness recipient.

So, just be nice.

Anne McKee is a Mississippi historian, writer and storyteller. She is listed on the Mississippi Humanities Speakers Bureau and Mississippi Arts Commission’s Artist Roster. See her website: www.annemckeestoryteller.com