Martin Luther King, Jr. said: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy.” Judge Karen Mills-Francis, the star of TV’s Judge Karen’s Court, reminds us of Dr. King’s quote in her book “Stay in Your Lane.” She says, “In these times of financial greed, shameless self-aggrandizement, and disconnected Internet-ruled world, I find myself believing that these are the times Dr. King spoke of.”

Judge Karen suggests that there is a place for each of us to stand in times like these. She says, “Focus on your own business and improve your circumstances using common sense. When you focus on your business, you don’t have time to cross other people’s boundaries, which is the root of most conflicts.” Her best advice is to find your own lane for this journey through life and travel within it.

Judge Karen says, “We need a moral compass to give us directions for the road ahead. It sets the ground rules that keep us on track.” Many of the people who appear before the judge in her court seem to have no moral compass. She believes that morality begins in the home. “There is a correlation between how a child is raised and how a child conducts himself in society,” says the judge. A child is not born with a moral compass. Children come into the world like a blank canvass, innocent and trusting. They are not born to hate, or to be racists — these things are taught.”

Quite often, young people who fall into the legal system are the product of an appalling childhood — often, they have been abused in some way. Judge Karen says that only 10% of girls who are sexually abused are abused by strangers. The other 90% are raped by someone they know and trust–quite often, it is mother’s boyfriend. “I have worked with a lot of girls in the juvenile or foster care system,” says the judge, “and I have yet to meet one who did not come from a home where she was raped by a boyfriend or husband of the mother. I always ask, ‘Where was your mother? What was she doing to protect you?’”

The judge advises, “If you have chosen to have children, then choose to make their future your responsibility.” She also speaks to men, saying that men have as much responsibility toward their child as the mother does in providing a healthy, wholesome environment that will allow growth to take place.

As a society we must do better than we have been doing in raising our children. Judge Karen reminds us that babies are having babies, crime among 12- to 24-year-olds is higher than any other group, and the dropout rate in schools in this country is at an all-time high. She says, “We look at these children and shake our heads in disgust, but somebody somewhere brought them to this point.”

Judge Karen has faced many difficulties and challenges in her lifetime. She is the oldest of five children and was raised in a one-bedroom apartment with seven people. As she got older, life became more of a challenge. She experienced having her lights and telephone being disconnected, and she applied for food stamps. She was once held at gunpoint in a drug raid and became a victim of domestic violence. She draws on these past experiences to shape her decisions in the courtroom.

Judge Karen speaks of God and learning to listen to “the voice within.” She says, “Life is like driving down a never-ending highway, and our paths are peppered with unexpected challenges. How we live our best life depends on how we react to those challenges.”