I know it’s true. I mean where are they? I noticed around the first of April the two were not to be found. I searched everywhere.

Yes, it is true that obviously Lysol and Miss Charmin ran off together, maybe to the Bahamas. I can just picture that cute Miss Charmin in her bikini and the manly Lysol strutting around like Mr. America. Why not be admired for a change rather than their usual routine.

I really don’t blame them. They need fun and relaxation.

When considering their careers and job duties, a stretch on the beach is most appreciated. I can see those two now drinking margaritas on a long sandy beach as the sun dips in the west, and then headed for dinner at a Five Star restaurant.

If I were a fly on the wall, their conversation would go something like this. “Darling, you are the love of my life, sweetheart – just don’t let yourself roll away too soon.”

And she would answer. “Oh, my precious, I am so happy you are the giant economy size. Our love will never end.”

Meanwhile back at the warehouse an all out search has begun for the star-crossed lovers.

“Search all areas,” barks the manager and we’ll find them, no doubt. Employees scatter into all crevices of the building with flashlights digging deep for the culprits.

“Who do they think they are?” squeals the operations director.

But out of sight is sweet little Miss Swiffer. She sighs when thinking of her two runaway friends and says under her squeaky-clean breath. “I wish I could have gone with them.”

Comet steps up behind her and with real compassion hugs Miss Swiffer. He says, “We will miss them but I am thrilled they made it out of the building then on to the truck headed for the airport.”

“Yes, I know,” she said with real tears. “They had planned their getaway for a long time.”

Comet, in a reminiscing mood said, “My momma always said that True Love knows no boundaries. He sighed and added, “Maybe one day it will happen to me.”

“Oh, Comet,” Miss Swiffer almost swooned, “I am ready for true love.”

Then the two embraced knowing this is a moment they would never forget.

“Let’s run away,” Comet said with real emotion.

“Oh, yes, I’ll just get my extra sheets and we’ll be gone” she answered.

And so it was another disappearance. It was two lovers on the run, tired of their everyday existence.

I wish them well.

Now you know why all of the cleaning and bathroom supplies have empty shelves.

But wait a minute, at the Five Star Restaurant; before the two can order their meal, a waiter grabs Miss Charmin, muttering, “Why is this tissue out here?” He walks the short hallway to the ladies room and tosses her inside.

Lysol is left alone at the table, heartbroken. What can he do and within minutes he has a game plan.

You see as the same smarty waiter made a grab for him, Lysol, with real malice, sprayed with all of his might, his large economy size self right into the waiter’s eye. The waiter screamed and ran away.

Now Lysol’s life is over, all given for his true love.

But just then, Miss Swiffer and Comet enter the restaurant and oh, the radiance upon their faces said it all.

No, Lysol and Miss Charmin had not died in vein.

Love knows no reason, no boundaries, no distance. It has a sole intention of bringing people (or cleaning supplies) together to a time called forever.

Author unknown

Anne B McKee is a Mississippi historian, writer and storyteller. She is listed on the Mississippi Humanities Speakers Bureau and Mississippi Arts Commission’s Performing Artist and Teaching Artist Rosters. See her web site: www.annemckeestoryteller.com