Now, that’s a friend.

 

Such a comfort to be able to let your hair down, throw it all out there, speak your mind and maybe become mindless with a trusted confident. Oh, it’s just idle gossip, no harm done, no worries but a lot of fun.

 

I heard there was a woman who once said, “If you don’t have anything good to say about anyone then come sit by me.”

 

In my mind’s eye I can see an incident such as that; a conversation, lively and mad-hatter-style with the flashing of eyes, loads of giggles and consisting of total nonsense – my kind of stuff.

 

The conversation would go something like this.

 

“Did you hear about Pearlie Mae?”

 

“No, what?”

 

“Well, her cousin told me on good authority that Pearlie Mae’s banana pudding is store-bought!”

 

“No-o-o, but you know I was suspicious. The vanilla wafers were too mushy and I was sure the pudding had never seen a pan, mixer or even a stove.”

 

“What is this world coming to when a kicker-cook like Pearlie Mae becomes a trickster and well, banana pudding is sort of the Holy Grail of cooking – pitiful.”

 

So yes, cooking is a huge subject but probably the deepest, darkest pit of idle talk comes in and about and out of the church.

 

*Sigh*

 

But not uplifting the Word but expounding the words-of-gossip, such as.

 

“Effie Lee is sneaky.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yep, last Sunday she slide into my spot on the third pew. She knows that I’ve sat there for 50-plus years, yet there she sat like the Queen of Sheba.”

 

“I just can’t believe it – such a lowdown thing to do and in church!”

 

“Well next Sunday I plan to arrive 30 minutes early, and I will be perched right there on the third row when she slinks in. We’ll see what she has to say about that. Why I had to work my way up to the third pew. Miss Thursaline sat there for more years than I remember but when she passed, the spot became mine. It was only fair.”

 

And so it goes …

 

My grandmother had a calling list. There were every two weeks, once a week, twice a week and everyday was saved for my daddy, who hated to talk on the phone, but yet it was his mama and he talked, sort of, more like a grunt.

 

Those who made the two week list were second and third cousins, once a week were sisters-in-law, nieces and first cousins. Twice a week were grandchildren like me and my cousins, Donna and Joann.

 

Now grandmother’s conversations were more informative rather than gossipy. I am proud to say I never heard my grandmother gossip but she knew details about every funeral within three counties, attended most of them. She also kept-up with illnesses, pregnancies and disasters such as car wrecks, and fires, also the price of pork chops.

 

I miss those sweet days and grandmother’s calls. She was better than Twitter, more charming than Facebook, and her commentaries would knock CNN and MSNBC into oblivion. Hey, I’ll vote for that.

 

So call a friend, a living, breathing friend, and y’all go at it. Be sure and laugh a lot. Tell tall tales about yesteryear because today’s world will likely make for high blood pressure.

 

 

Anne B. McKee is director of Meridian Downtown History Walk coming Feb. 22.