80s Movies

Earlier this week, most entertainment magazines and social media sites were ablaze with the news that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was taking on the role of Jack Burton in a remake of the 1986 hit “Big Trouble in Little China.”

Many of the people who chimed in were excited about the pairing of one today’s biggest action heroes with the character Kurt Russell made famous in the cult classic. However, others were not as excited, posing the question “Why fix something that wasn’t broken?”

But to anyone who has been paying attention to the nature of entertainment, such a remake was bound to be in the works sooner or later. In fact, over the past few years, Hollywood has traveled back to the decade of fun and self-indulgence to remake movies that were either huge hits or those that developed a cult following like “Red Dawn,” “Robocop,” “About Last Night,” “Dirty Dancing,” “Terminator” and “Annie” just to name a few.

While this trend shows no signs of stopping anytime soon, there are several movies that should not get the modern-day remake treatment for a variety of reasons. Here is a list of nine ‘80s films that are better left alone.

1. “The Lost Boys” — Starring Jason Patric, Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, Keifer Sutherland and Jami Gertz, “The Lost Boys” was the originals teen angst vampire film without all the sappy feelings and unbelievable love stories. It actually made being a bloodsucking vampire cool. Any remake these days would resemble “Twilight” more than anything else.

2. “Labyrinth” — To this day, I have no clue what Labyrinth is about. It made no sense to me then, just as it makes no sense to me now. It looked like it was put together just so David Bowie could dress up as the Goblin King, which at the time was less weird than his normal outfits.

3. “Beverly Hills Cop” —  The fish-out-of-water cop film was originally set to feature Sylvester Stallone. But when Sly backed out, film producers decided to cast Eddie Murphy in the iconic role of Axel Foley and the rest is history, as it became one of the top-grossing comedies of all time. If it was remade today, Kevin Hart would more than likely snag the lead role. And as funny as he is, he’s not Eddie Murphy.

4. “The Princess Bride” — With the success of fantasy world films, it’s hard to imagine that some producer isn’t trying to think of a way to recreate the magic that “The Princess Bride” created back in 1987. Unfortunately, there’s no formula for Hollywood to follow. It was just funny for the sake of being funny.

5. “Gymkata” — What happens when you combine gymnastics and martial arts? You get “Gymkata,” starring U.S. Olympic gymnast Kurt Thomas as Jonathan Cabot, a man who fights his way across Europe…literally. The film includes too many scenes that contribute to its cult status, including one where Cabot beats up a town of poor zombies with the use a pommel horse that just happened to be in the town square. Even with CGI, that scene shouldn’t be recreated today. When it premiered in 1985, men’s gymnastics was at its height. Not so today. 

6. “Do The Right Thing” — Both classic and controversial, this film stands as what many consider to be Spike Lee’s greatest film. Everything the film dealt with in the late 1980s is still prevalent today, including police interaction in minority communities. However, the issues are so raw and real, the film could not be remade today. Plus, since it stands the test of time, why retool it?

7. “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”— Matthew Broderick was never better as a high school senior who decided to have the most epic sick day ever. Catching a home run at a Cubs game, being part of a parade, wrecking your best friend’s father’s $100,000 car while your girlfriend is by your side — what’s better? Needless to say, the film created the quintessential skip day blueprint for almost every teen across the country. If Hollywood tried to repurpose Bueller’s unforgettable day off today, whoever is cast in his shoes would probably come off as whiney, spoiled and insincere while lacking Broderick’s enviable charm. So it’s best to just leave it alone.