I hope you were Blessed to have a Southern Granny in your life. During this time of year my thoughts always include my Granny. Graduations, weddings, bridal showers, baby showers, church homecomings – who could you count at each of these gatherings as a major supportive family member? Yes, it was always Granny.

    She was the one to arrive early, to call weeks ahead of time and offer her help. She was the one who polished her wedding silver and gifted it to her three granddaughters. Granny never drove a car, but would call a taxi, if needed. She was not going to miss any important dates in the lives of her children, grandchildren, and the greats as well.

    She enjoyed all family gatherings – even if it was a funeral. If it were family, you could count Granny to be in attendance even it was a little uncomfortable and sad. She kept the family informed of any news. You remember those conversations, don’t you? They went something like this. “Cousin Lucy dropped by today and brought some nice tomatoes. Brother Oren had a doctor’s appointment yesterday and got a good report. Old Mr. Harrison fell down the front steps last night.  I cooked a pot of soup and took it over to him this morning. I talked to the folks in the country (she referred to her home place of Collinsville as the country) this morning and their revival starts Sunday. I would sure love to go for the afternoon singing and dinner-on-the-ground.”

    These type conversations would prick the conscious of family members who would drive her to “the country.” She would pack her things in a small bag and probably stay three or four days, then, my Daddy would pick her up and bring her home.

    Granny was raised during an era before women entered the workforce. She could even remember when women did not have the vote.  She was not part of the suffrage movement – nor even considered marching or demonstrating for the rights of women. When engaged in conversation, she always gave the lead to the gentlemen in the room.  She would sit with her head down and her small hands folded politely in her lap, but once the men left the room, she became the life of the party – all giggles and smiles.

    Oh, how I miss my Granny!

    She bestowed unconditional love on each family member. She referred to my Daddy and his two brothers as “my boys.” They each served during WWII and she spent many hours writing to them – to “her boys.” She was immensely proud of each of her four children – one daughter and three sons. In a way she had a sad life because her husband died at the age of 32 years – a tall handsome man with blue eyes. She never remarried and devoted her entire life to family.

    Granny gave the best advice. Here are a few things that I remember:

    1. If you act as well as you look, you will be fine.

    2. Being poor is alright, but being unclean is unacceptable.

    3. Always rely on kindness.

    4. Two wrongs won’t make a right.

    5. Be yourself.

    6. Try hard – if you fail, then try again.

    7. Do your own work – don’t take from others.

    8. Gonna put the big pot in the little one.

    9. Hard work makes you stronger.

    10. Never give up.

    Granny loved to cook. She knew each family member’s favorite dish and would make certain she prepared a special meal for that special person that included the dish.  I can still hear her say, “I hoped you could come for dinner today.” She referred to the noon meal as dinner. “I’ve cooked a big pot of chicken gizzard stew.” Now that may not sound appetizing to you, but then, you’ve never had my Granny’s version.

    If for some reason a person didn’t seem fully satisfied after a meal at Granny’s table, she would say. “Just go to Mr. Weidmann’s, then.” Granny shared with me how she attended Vaudeville shows in downtown Meridian – at the Grand Opera House. I’m not sure how often she attended, but she was with relatives, probably an older brother and his wife. I can imagine the twinkle in her blue eyes as she sat on the edge of her seat taking in every moment – a young girl who loved life.

    Granny loved Juicy Fruit gum – always had a stick of gum for the grandchildren. It was the little things of life that made her happy. She especially enjoyed telephone conversations.  She had a daily calling list, weekly, bi-weekly, and monthly. Now if you were on the monthly list, you were probably a friend, the bi-weekly were extended family, the weekly list were family members who worked, the daily list were those special ones like my Daddy.

    Granny died in 1983 at the age of 89 years.  She remained in extremely good health until a few days prior to her death. I remember how terribly she missed all of her friends and family who had died before her. She would say. “Everyone I know is dead.” Yes, she was present at a lot of funerals, cooked many pots of soup, attended diligently to those telephone lists, and kept everyone informed. She was my Granny.

    So today I remember Ila Estelle Calvert Brooks – a Southern Granny and the type of Granny that everyone should have.

    Anne B. McKee is an author and storyteller. She lives in Meridian. Anne is listed on the Mississippi Artist Roster, sponsored by Mississippi Arts Commission, as a dramatic and literary artist, storyteller, and as a Teaching Artist. She is active with the arts and educational communities throughout Mississippi. Visit her web site: www.annemckee.net.