As I share this dastardly tale with you today, let me assure you — there is hope, always hope, that a personage of the Baby-Boomer era/age can attain the highest level of technology – really, it’s true. Read on with your dignity intact and your finger on the print button. This is a keeper.

    Today, I entered the office supply store/computer wizard department with an air of much authority, and real conviction.  I managed to find myself in the right department to purchase the most in-depth, and updated computer apps in stock.  If anyone had noticed, my descent into the muck and mire of this highly complicated and grossly high-tech corner of the world would have been much admired. Am I not confident that my intellect, my sureness of the exact science, and my stumbling and bumbling would have caused no real alarm?  Stumbling and bumbling aside, I could have easily found myself at the font of my element, my calling, and yes, my newfound place in this world of opportunity.

    I admit I was most pleased with my, I don’t read directions, self. Just, show me, is my motto, yes, show me, then stand back as I command, as I master, as I possess, and seize the occasion. I transcended my, I can’t change a light bulb mind, to computer-nerd extraordinaire, Baby-Boomer style!

    Where was my seven-year-old grand technological expert when I needed him?

    I moved forward alone. I can do it! Had anyone noticed this paradox, this self-contradiction?  Was it possible, could it have been, what were the chances this Baby Boomer, such as me, could be so inundated in the world of technology?

    I walked down the aisle as I showed my mighty, motorized mental capacities.  I selected even more complicated computer apps, you know, just a shopper in the high-tech world. I hoped someone would ask a question, or seek my advice, but, alas, no one seemed to even look in my direction.  I continued to lolly-gag around my world of newness. I hated to leave, and return to my ole manual typewriter type of technology, but who knew?  Did I not blend in with the best of ‘em?  We have all blazed new trails, and forged new worlds.  Could I be the Lewis and Clark of the 21st Century? Where is Sacagawea when I needed her? (Look it up).

    Yes, I do belong –more than belong, I shall become a leader!  A Baby Boomer with technological yearnings, searching landscapes of natural science, applied science, or experimental science, who cares? One knows when one belongs, and YES, I belong!

    Such weighty, and lofty brainwaves to administer; and for the lucky ones, I shall share this overcrowded and meticulous mind of mine.  Oh, please, wait your turn, take a number and be patient — your reward waits.

    My mind swirled, and twirled, and maybe whirled a little bit, too, as I summoned, as I expounded, as I demanded with real authority the maximum schmaltz, the final word, and in fastidious detail – ah, yes, the sensationalism, and astounding phenomenon of Baby Boomer equals Computer Guru. I was ready, yes; ready to show the world, the universe, and even the UFO creatures if they could keep up — keep up with this Baby Boomer as she surged for technological adventure.

    I heard a universal cry; Yessirree, the time had come. I consumed much courageous beckoning, and a desire to enhance the moment – a moment when the whole world stood still for all to hear; but first, I must visit the cashier to pay for my purchases – hold on world. I’m on my way.

    I admit the cashier was sweet-faced, and cheery, but chatty, chatty, chatty.  “Oh,” she giggled.  “I am so-o-o happy when old people enjoy new technology!  You know, like my Grandma talking on her cell, while punching on the PC!”

    I thought, “I’d like to punch you!”                                                   

     “Could she really be calling me old –  surely, surely not?” I pondered as the intensifying madness associated with somewhat oldness entered my mind-numbing presence.  I glared, and at the same time gawked. Had this little insignificant chatty, chatty, chatty one dared to play a small part at this rare moment in time. Did she realize she had the privilege to play a part, even if a little bitty part for a little bitty minor player?   Does she think I’m old?  I mused once again – unbelievable!!!

    As I blinked to clear my befuddled thoughts, Miss Chatty One seemed to notice there was a dilemma, a barrier of some sort between the two of us on this world stage.  I marveled that she seemed never to stop to take a breath.  The thought occurred to me perhaps she could be one of those elusive UFO creatures, however, a chatty one. But she finally had one of those mental light bulb popping out of body experiences, I thought, as she squealed, “Oh, dear, not that you’re old!”

    But it was too late. The moment passed — sorry world, sorry universe, sorry UFO’s.  Another place, another time, and we will take our turn down the technological path. 

    Baby Boomer equals technology computer extraordinaire WILL HAPPEN and we will journey together, so again I insist -take a number and be ready!

    Anne B. McKee is an author and storyteller. She lives in Meridian. Anne is listed on the Mississippi Artist Roster, sponsored by Mississippi Arts Commission, as a dramatic and literary artist, storyteller, and as a Teaching Artist. She is active with the arts and educational communities throughout Mississippi. Visit her web site: www.annemckee.net.