I pulled out my golf clubs for the first time in a long, long time last week and have been practicing my swing in my front yard. If you don’t believe me, you are welcome to come and count the divots.

In less than two weeks, I will be taking my place on the tee box at Livingston Country Club in an effort to prove I’m as bad of a golfer as I have repeatedly claimed to be.

While 20 three-person teams will be battling it out to see who is best when a benefit scramble tees off at 1 p.m. March 12, longtime Meridian TV personality Lindsey Hall, former University of West Alabama head football coach Sam McCorkle and myself will gather five hours earlier to compete in “by the rules” stroke play to see who is the worst.

While I truly am bad, nobody wants to be the worst. So I’ve been practicing my game a little.

My goal is not to shoot even par on the par-72 course at LCC. Bogey golf, or even double-bogey golf is not my target. If somehow I can walk off the 18th green at 54-over par (that’s a 126 for those who need a hint), I will be pleased.

My oldest son, Ryan, who is a physical therapist, attempted to give me a little encouragement. Here is a paraphrase of his comment: “With your lack of flexibility and poor range of motion, at least you won’t hit it as far out of bounds as you used to.”

In an effort to shoot as low of as a score as possible and put at least some pressure on Sam and Lindsey, I have developed a game plan. I know, it seems silly that someone who would be excited about playing triple-bogey golf would even have a game plan, but nevertheless, I do.

If I can contain myself, I’m going to leave my driver in the golf bag and just move that little white ball down the fairway 120-150 yards or so at a time with my irons. When I get close enough I’ll pull out the pitching wedge and see if I can get it somewhere on the green. Anytime I find myself putting for bogey, it will be considered a victory.

Right now, I have eight golfballs in my possession. I guarantee you, that’s not enough. A quick stop at Walmart to pick up a couple dozen cheap balls should at least keep me in the game through 18 holes.

The second question my son Ryan had for me: “Is there any water on that course?” The reason he asked is he knows you can add three strokes to my score for every time I have to cross water, get anywhere near water or somebody is holding a cup of water.

I’m actually tempted to show up on March 12 with just my 5-iron, 7-iron, pitching wedge and a putter. That probably would lower my score by at least 10 strokes.

While Sam, Lindsey and I are certainly playing for fun, we are also playing for charity. Any business or individual who would like to be a sponsor for this event can email me at starsportsboss@yahoo.com or text or call me at 601-938-2471, and I will get you in touch with the right people.

The proceeds go to the Coach King, Miss Sandy and Patrick Ferris Scholarship fund at UWA. If you would like to play in the scramble, the entry fee is $100 per person. Again, text or email me, and I will help you get signed up.

Or maybe you just want to have a few laughs on a Saturday morning. If that’s so, bring your golf cart and follow me, Sam and Lindsey around for what will likely seem like an eternity.

While I certainly am hoping to shoot a 126 or lower, I have another way to measure how good of a round I play: Any time I have more good shots than lost golf balls, it’s been a good day.

Austin Bishop, AKA The Old Sports Dude, has been covering high school, college, amateur, and professional sports since 1975. He is currently pastor of Great Commission Assembly of God in Philadelphia. He may be contacted by email at starsportsboss@yahoo.com or by phone at 601-938-2471.