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ere’s the thing – all God’s creatures have ‘em. Basically they are for air. Sniff. Sniff. That’s right; if no “air holes,” then one is doomed. With that said, each nose has a style of its own. There are big honkers and almost non-existent types. And folks, we don’t put in an order. We have what God designed just for us, unless later in life we decide to “go under the knife.” That has always freaked me out.

Take a big honker, for example. At first glance, perhaps one would not prefer that model, but think about movie stars and entertainers who sported a gigantic model: Barbara Streisand or Jimmy Durante and, of course, the star of “Everybody Loves Raymond.” These high-dollar-celebs certainly didn’t let big noses get in the way of their careers. For the most part, Barb and Jim were recognizable because of their massive noses and Raymond, well, the guy made a long, successful career with a big nosed profile.

While on a big-nose-roll let us think of Richard Gere. Now that is one big, hot nose. He certainly didn’t run to a surgeon to clip the thing. Oh no, he went forward with his bulbous nose and made millions via the movie screen. Remember “Officer and a Gentleman” and “Pretty Woman.” Yeah, see what I mean?

On a personal note, many years ago I became very aware of a mole or something like it that decided to grow on the tip of my nose. After I discovered the thing, I became very self-conscious, like everyone was talking to my mole rather than talking to me. Oh, it was bad. I made an appointment with a local surgeon for out-patient surgery. I mean I was determined to get that thingy off my nose.

I arrived to the clinic in the pre-dawn hours, it seemed. The nurse directed me to a small cubicle. Shortly the doctor arrived and asked if I were ready. Then there were the shots in the nose, of course. That’s when I realized shots in the ole snout were particularly painful – really painful. The surgeon began work on me and as I gazed into his face I noticed several large growths on his nose. Uh-huh.

It made sense to me that my doctor had not removed his nose-type lesions. OMG – it was painful and I am not the most courageous when pain is involved. Later as I pondered the pain and stitches and blood and gosh-awful shots, I decided to just keep the next wart that showed up on my nose. You see I decided it would add character to my profile. Yeah.

Now to little noses – I love them. You see my sweet momma had the cutest little nose. The sister closest to her in age had an identical nose, but their younger sister didn’t. That’s all I will say about that except families can display a variety of nose styles and that’s okay. It would be boring if everyone looked alike. Momma told me before I was born she was concerned I would have a big nose because there were a few in the family. However I inherited a nose much like hers, perhaps a tiny bit larger, but no worries.

I confess because I have never had a nose-fetish, I don’t really pay attention to nose size. Big nose, little nose – no problem, I’m fine with it. I’m just happy to have a nose, because – well, you know. Breathing is important.

But I have one question – all of those big-nosed-people, are they really nosier? I mean do they stick their big honkers into your business more often than others? I have studied on this concept for an extended amount of time and I’ve come to the conclusion (wait on it), yes, I have made the determination that the nosy part of one’s large nose is not connected in any way to a prying nature.

My dear friends, I know you are relieved to learn my findings via this scientific study – big nose, little nose. Yes, I have completed this project. Next I shall inquire as to the real purpose of ears. Did you hear me?

 

Anne McKee is a Mississippi historian, writer, storyteller and Mississippi Humanities Speaker. See her website: www.annemckeestoryteller.com