As I consider what I should write at this moment about the wonders of the unlimited and immaculate uncaused cause of all things, namely God, and how man is existentially related to Him, I become aware of the slightest detail that in all things man attributes to this special bond in lesson, the normal subject is in a negative form. With the exception, of course, of some special individuals like C.S. Lewis or perhaps a John Piper whose inspiration comes from the infamous Jonathan Edwards.

What I mean by “in a negative form” is that we are constantly reminded by contemporaries of how we are sinners and lack any capacity to personally accomplish any good works that could bring us closer to our lover. I have no real question about this truth; however, it is remarkable how often so much is left behind for the sake of knowing and being reminded of this fact.

I really find it no surprise that most Christians — including myself for a season — are not satisfied in their faith due to the lack of truly inspiring theology that raises the bar and overwhelms us with the shear grace that is in and flows from our beloved savior. I am fully aware by general revelation and divine scriptural evidence that man in his “lost state of being” must come to terms with his sinfulness and turn to God for cleansing and spiritual renewal that brings him in contact with the source of all joy and purpose. But I also realize that the second half of the equation is mostly overlooked by our spiritual leaders and generally misunderstood by the laity.

I would like to retrace my steps for a moment to further consider my thoughts concerning Christians not being fully satisfied in their faith. This subject is especially important to me because I was in this precarious situation and what’s more inexplicable is that I did not realize it. The thought is overwhelming in its implications in that an unsatisfying faith in an all satisfying God is quite a conundrum to say the least. The situation is hard to describe because so many people are living in such a state that I could explain it and yet they would not see the contradiction.

It is such a subtle lie that we have been in for so long that we simply cannot admit to our blindness. I suppose the normal Christian life is a life lived in many ways that the bible describes such as “humility,” “kindness,” “longsuffering,” etc ä but I feel our guilt has somewhat muddied the spiritual water because these traits of a good Christian life are not intended to make us the indisputable champions of the Christian faith as if there were some goal that we could reach where all the skeletons in our closets are bashed into oblivion. They are not something that we must produce in order to alleviate the grief that most Christians wear.

I could simplify my assertions by saying simply most individuals who have grown up in a knowledge and training of the Christian faith are Christians living under the continuous guilt of being imperfect people and have no real idea of the wondrous effects that grace has produced in our lives. We strive to live the Christian life instead of allowing the joy of God and his glory be our greatest concern, and in so doing allowing God’s glory to produce through us the perfect Christian life.

I guess I was never really satisfied in my faith because I never got over my sinfulness. I was constantly reminded of my sinfulness in every Sunday school lesson and every sermon. I was not holy before God and He made me holy, but in my mind I never allowed myself to become the clean vessel God had crafted for his great works.

I suppose this is the reason I revel in the book of Romans. Paul had a knack for writing in a way that ordinary people could relate; he never denied his imperfections but displayed them as trophies that testified to the wondrous grace afforded to him by a God whom could have chosen any combination of possible realities, yet chose the reality that included loving us in our imperfections. What a truly undeniably great God we serve! Other times Paul shares the boldness that we should take hold of with thoughts like Romans 8:

“1†There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 2†For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. 3†For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: 4†that the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”

For me, the turning point was when I read Paul’s testimony in Romans concerning his sinful nature and how he, like me, continues to do things that we wish we could not do. As stated in Romans 7:

“14†For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15†For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. 16†If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. 17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

“18†For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. 19†For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. 20†Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

“21†I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. 22†For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: 23†but I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24†O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? 25†I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

I sometimes struggle with the fact that real and personal situations are never really dealt with in church. I do not mean to say that theological implications for the obvious sins are not dealt with. I think they are dealt with to death to be honest. What I am talking about are issues that cause people to be driven into obvious sins. Issues that are at the heart of our dishonesty, selfishness, lack of humility, drunkenness, covetousness, sexual deviances, all of which are rooted simply in idol worship.

These issues are truly complicated, but it is of utmost importance that we determine what causes a person to be dishonest for example. The dishonesty in and of it self is wrong and should be corrected, but I think the only way to stop the hemorrhaging is to find the source and treat it. These are the types of issues that people long to be addressed. I don’t mean to second guess our leaders in there quest for spreading the Gospel and it’s not really my contention that they are not preaching sound doctrine. But theologically we could be taking the bread of life, with which we’ve created small individual portioned dry squares where by we can suck on until we are told to chew and swallow, and we could be preparing dumplings smothered in the gravy of grace and we could all sit side by side absolutely enjoying to the fullest amount possible the feast that God has provided.

This is my favorite word picture of my desire to know God more completely and why I believe we are created, namely to Glorify God!



Lenny Joiner is a Collinsville resident.