My wife tells everyone that I am the boss. She even tells me that I’m the boss. For a few years— in the early days— I even believed that I was the boss.

The beauty of the strategy of telling someone that they’re in charge, when it is really you who is in charge, is that there’s no way to disprove their point.

I am the supposed boss of Christmas decorations at my house. What I have learned after 23 years is that the “boss” is in charge of getting all of the boxes out of the attic, putting up the tree, stringing the lights on the tree, and putting the boxes back into the attic.

I’ve owned restaurants for 23 years. I know what a boss does. I set policy, make purchasing decisions, set goals, follow through on the company’s vision statement, and so on. My job description at the house looks nothing like that. At home, I am a glorified gopher.

My wife used to make a big deal about decorating the tree and the house together as a family. “Next week, you’ll get all of the Christmas boxes out of the attic, put up the tree, string the lights, and then we’ll all decorate the tree as a family.”

“But the football game is on.”

“This is your house, you are in charge, and I can’t believe that you are going to choose watching a football game over decorating the Christmas tree with your family.”

“But last year, all I did was…”

“Is this the way you run the office, too?”

Inevitably, I give in. Some say the secret to a successful marriage is compromise. I say the secret to a successful marriage is: Give in and do what you are told.

Decorating the tree at my house sounds like this: “Don’t put that ornament there, it’s too big! Big ones go towards the bottom. Don’t put the reindeer in front, put the angel in front! You’ve got two green balls right beside each other! Don’t you know you’re always supposed to separate colored balls? Not that branch! That ornament’s too heavy for that branch. Use the one beside it. Here, let me do it.”

“OK.”

Still, the experts say that marriage is full of compromises. Never is this more evident than around Christmas. Everyone grew up with different Christmas traditions. The early years of marriage are filled with strategic lobbying to include your childhood traditions into the new arrangement.

Case in point: I grew up with multi-colored Christmas lights. My wife came from a white-light only family. My brother and I threw icicles and tinsel all over our childhood trees. We clumped it on, so much so, that other kids from the neighborhood came to our house to throw tinsel all over our tree. My wife thinks tinsel is tacky.

In the first few Christmases I spent with my wife, we compromised and used my colored lights and her white lights. As for tinsel, it was a constant battle. I loaded up the tree initially, and then she went behind me for the next several weeks removing tinsel.

Through the years, I put up a good fight in the Battle For the Tinsel as I kept boxes of tinsel hidden all through the house. I would sneak back into the living room in the middle of the night and throw more tinsel. She would come behind me the next day and remove almost all of it.

I stood firm because I am the man of the house. I am in charge. This is my ship. I am the Captain, especially at Christmas.

The next time that my wife tries to tell you that I am the boss, drive by my home and take a peek into the front window. You’ll see a beautiful Christmas tree, adorned with nothing but brilliant white lights, meticulously placed ornaments, all evenly spaced, every branch used to its maximum decorating potential, and not a strand of tinsel in sight. Your honor, I rest my case.



Robert St.John is a restaurateur, chef, and author of the newly released “Dispatches From My South.” He can be reached at www.robertstjohn.com.



Chicken Pie:

1 /2 cup Butter

1 /2 cup plus 1 Tbl Flour

1 tsp Celery salt

1 tsp Salt

1 tsp Black pepper

1 /4 cup Onion, minced

3 cups Chicken broth, hot

1 /2 cup Half and Half

1 Tbl. Worcestershire

1 1 /2 cups Chicken, cooked, diced



Biscuit Topping



1 cup Self-rising flour

1 tsp. Sugar

1 /2 tsp Salt

1 /4 tsp Baking soda

1 /4 tsp Baking powder

1 /4 cup Crisco

1 /2 cup Buttermilk

1 recipe Pie Crust (recipe below)



Preheat oven to 325

Melt butter in a medium-sized skillet over low heat. Add flour to make a roux. Cook 6-7 minutes to make a light, peanut butter-colored roux. Add onion and seasonings. Cook five minutes more. Slowly add hot broth and stir until smooth. Simmer 10 minutes. Add half and half and cooked chicken. Remove from the heat and allow the mixture to cool in refrigerator for 30 minutes.

For the biscuit dough: combine dry ingredients and mix well. Cut in shortening until mixture resembles coarse breadcrumbs. Gently fold in buttermilk and mix until a ball forms. Roll out piecrust and place in a nine-inch pie tin. Spoon chicken mixture into pie shell. Drop spoonfuls of biscuit mix over the surface of the pie.

Bake 45 minutes. Let cool 20 minutes before serving. Yield: 8 servings



Pie Crust



2 cups Flour

1 cup Shortening

1 /4 tsp Salt

1 Egg

1 /3 cup Milk



Blend the first three ingredients together with a pastry cutter or a fork. Beat egg and milk together. Slowly add egg/milk mixture to flour mixture, one tablespoon at a time until pie dough becomes moist and forms a ball. Divide into half and shape into a ball. Wrap and refrigerate one hour before rolling. Roll out on a floured surface. Yield: Two crusts

To roll out dough: Remove dough disk from refrigerator. If stiff and very cold, let stand until dough is cool but malleable.

Using a floured rolling pin, roll dough disk on a lightly floured surface from the center out in each direction, forming a 12 inch circle. To transfer dough, carefully roll it around the rolling pin, lift and unroll dough, centering it in an ungreased nine-inch pie plate.