Parents know their own children, and they know what movie entertainment they should see. In today’s era of overloaded films and maximum hype, anyone with a child, or children, has earned our sympathy when it comes to taking the kids to a theater.

Moviegoing for a family is expensive, especially if popcorn and soda is added to the mix. Is the day coming when studios and the major theater chains will have priced themselves out of existence? To paraphrase Sean Connery’s James Bond, circa 1983: “Never say never.”

The hottest ticket in almost every town in the world is “Avengers: Infinity War.” The adoring fans have lined up, and its box office is already gold. Granted, a movie that cost an estimated $300-million to produce needs to reap in $420-million to merely break-even because of added publicity and marketing expenses. If anybody’s actually worried, rest easy, the film will assuredly earn back all of its budget.

For parents, the dilemma is about who in the family gets to see “Avengers: Infinity War.” It’s rated PG-13 “for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action throughout, language and some crude references.” If your child is 12 and under, you have my best wishes.

No little children, no tykes, should be in a movie theater watching this epic amalgam of Marvel Cinematic Universe characters. Why would any caring mom or dad want to subject their 5- or 6-year old, let alone those younger, to 149-minutes of extreme noise, bewildering chaos, and mind-numbing excess?

The film is familiar, repetitive, and plays like a bloated reunion of members of a squabbling egocentric family. Each character is more self-absorbed than the next. These quirky ladies and gentlemen live in a rigidly internalized cocoon. They may be colorful, fleet of foot, and crack jokes, but they exist in a world in which everything must relate to, and connect with, their own selves. I think the word solipsism could have been coined for them.

“Avengers: Infinity War” has two directors, the brothers Joseph and Anthony Russo, and is written by Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely. The main characters have been dragged in from seemingly every corner of the Marvel mountaintop.

In alphabetical order you’ll visit with: Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), Captain America (Chris Evans), Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch), Drax (Dave Bautista), Falcon (Anthony Mackie), Gamora (Zoe Saldana), Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Loki (Tom Hiddleston), Nebula (Karen Gillan), Star-Lord (Chris Pratt), Spider-Man (Tom Holland), Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), and Vision (Paul Bettany).

There are others, and wisps of others, as well as the major villain, a selfish aggressive ogre with a giant chin named Thanos (Josh Brolin).

I accept that most comic book movies will have a quest, but the quest here seems borrowed from “The Lord Of The Rings.” Whether the scavenger hunt is for an inscribed gold ring, or a bunch of Infinity Stones, there’s something familiar about it all. You have to be willing to have memories of previous quest films airbrushed from your mind.

Regarding your mind, and there are some who will disagree – mostly studio accountants watching ticket sales – you must have knowledge of the Marvel Cinematic Universe to genuinely enjoy the movie. It does not stand on its own.

In grand galactic fashion, the chase is on and whoever finds the six magical stones will act as the authority over everything, including, but not limited to, space, time, reality, habitation, and the sale of replica stones on sci-fi shopping channels.

The good guys and gals hop from planet to planet to thwart Thanos, who zealously wants to be Master of the Universe. Toss in male domination and the coveted role of main marauder in a sequel, and you’ve got a cinematic trifecta.

The biggest battle takes place in technologically-advanced Wakanda, which is the paradise home of T’Challa, also known as Black Panther.

Here’s the No Spoilers part of the review – meaning absolutely no names. Your favorite superhero may not survive the bedlam. How is that possible, you may justifiably ask? The Marvel world is a license to print money. Why would they kill off any characters, let alone more than one of them? I’m not writing about auxiliary characters, either. Important flesh and blood characters get the proverbial axe. Or, so we’re made to believe.

But, come on, anyone who’s ever watched a soap opera knows that beloved characters don’t really die. They come back through a mysterious portal, or because it was all a dream, or, best of all, it never really happened in the first place.

I think Thanos is so angry that he’s mostly imagining what he wants to do to the Avengers he’s killing. It’s all in his giant head.

There are many pleasing visual moments in the movie, and you can certainly enjoy the stoic, good-hearted nature of Captain America and the jokey playful quips from Star-Lord. Loki’s still cool. Everybody else is going through the motions. Iron Man just seems exhausted; his edge is dull. Even at this length, there are too many characters.

“Avengers: Infinity War” is brassy, but it’s not really bold. These comic book films need to be streamlined; perhaps coming in at 110-minutes long. This one reminded me of overcooked hamburger. Safe, but unfulfilling.

• Michael Calleri has been reviewing movies professionally since 1990 and in his lifetime has seen more than 10,000 films in theaters and through other sources. If he had to choose the films of one director with which to relax, they would be Alfred Hitchcock’s. He can be reached at moviecolumn@gmail.com