Anne McKee’s Skinny Burger

That’s right! Today I am announcing a phenomenal discovery, a creation of sorts. Anne McKee has refined the world famous burger into a new and exciting formation.

I’m thinking it’s sort of like going to Mars, thrilling and at the same time scary but what the heck — no pain, no gain.

The original skinny thought came to me at exactly 2 a.m. last Thursday. My eyes popped open and a skinny burger image appeared in my brain. It was an epiphany or either gas but I’m going with the first.

You see I’ve never owned anything skinny in my entire life thus my joy was and is overwhelming.

So’s I immediately hopped out of bed to make notes and draw a picture of my creation. Game on!

Hubs opened one eye, grunted and rolled over. You see I’ve had early, very early morning epiphanies before and well, you know.

But not to be deterred I plowed forward determined to make the world a skinner planet or something like that.

Now back to the skinny burger. Do you remember as a kid when your mama drug you along on shopping days? And as a treat she ordered two burgers for lunch at the Kress lunch counter.

Boy oh boy, the burgers were more than a treat. I remember as I sat on that red, plastic stool feeling as though I was lunching with President Eisenhower and Mamie.

And the burgers, well they were about the size of the palm of mama’s hand and the patty was as thin and skinny as a fried egg.

But oh, oh, so delicious.

In later years Hardee’s developed the Thick Burger and by the advertisements I knew I was supposed to love them however my taste buds said, “No, No, No.”

I yearned for a different taste, like a dream of yesteryear and that’s when it happened, the 2 a.m. epiphany.

By 6 a.m. I was dressed and had turned my SUV toward the Winn Dixie. Hubs grunted again as I slammed the front door. There would be no tiptoeing on this infamous morning.

I geared my ride into the closest parking spot to the front door and with blazing eyes, I blasted toward the meat counter.

Let me take this opportunity to apologize to those two blue-haired little ladies. I didn’t really intend to elbow my way into the ground chuck counter but you see, great things were about to happen.

They will thank me later.

I grabbed 5 pounds and flew through checkout arriving back to my home in record time. Thankfully law enforcement allowed on this morning of mornings my heavy foot that pressed maybe to heavily upon the gas peddle.

Now to the plan — Presenting the Skinny Burger.

1. Roll meat into very small balls.

2. Flatten meat, then flatten again, thin, thin, thin.

3. Put one flatten patty into a zip lock at the time. With five pounds of meat there will be stacks and stacks of patties.

4. Place them in the freezer.

5. After freezing thoroughly, pull out one at the time and place in frying pan over medium heat and HOOT HOOT, there is your skinny burger ready to plop on the bun.

One more thing. If perhaps you have a fuddie/duddie ready for a thicker burger (Lord forbid but it happens) then just fry up three patties for their disgusting burger.

Gotta run, frying up a skinny burger for Hubs and me and will dream one more time that I’m sitting upon the red plastic stool at the Kress lunch counter.

Oh, and if you add extra mustard for perfection then maybe a trip to Mars could be in our near future.