Doug Hawkins maintains planning is key to fathering blended families
Published 12:00 pm Saturday, June 20, 2020
- Photos by Paula Merritt / The Meridian StarDoug Hawkins with his blended family Anabelle, Olivia, Caroline and Maggie.
It has been said, “Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.”
No words could ring truer for Meridian’s Doug Hawkins. Not only is Hawkins dad to his daughters Olivia, 17, and Maggie, 20, but also to his wife Melanie’s daughters Anabelle, 12, and Caroline, 14.
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“When our two families merged to become one, I knew that life would never be boring,” Hawkins said. “But I also realized that I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
After nine years of marriage, Hawkins lost his first wife, Rhonda to leukemia in December 2006. Their daughters were 6 and 3 when he suddenly became a single parent.
“I had a lot of anxiety,” he said. “It was hard emotionally being a dad and a mom; however, I had a great support team from family and friends.”
Hawkins’ daughter Maggie remembers the period of adjustment.
“After my mom passed away, my dad had to adapt to take on both roles for my sister and me,” she said. “He learned how to fix our hair in the mornings before school, help pick out our outfits, and other daily duties. He was always so supportive; he was at every gymnastics meet, dance recital, cheer competition.”
Maggie recollects a morning when she and her sister were in elementary school and she got a comb stuck in her bangs.
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“My dad knew he needed to get us to school, and he had to get to work,” she said. “I can laugh at that memory now. Dad handed me off to our family friend Melissa Goldman, who was a teacher at the time.”
Olivia also remembers her dad helping her make sure her ponytail was perfect.
“I wouldn’t accept it any other way,” Olivia recalled. “I know it can’t be easy being a dad to all girls, but he is the best at it.”
In 2009, Hawkins married his current wife Melanie, whose daughters Caroline and Annabelle were ages 4 and 2 at the time.
“We began with conversations on Facebook,” he said. “Then three months later, we were out on a date. And the rest is history.”
Hawkins said the union of both families has been a blessing.
“I am so happy to see the voids filled where the kids once had uncertainties about having a mom and a dad,” he said. “I enjoy the dancing, the cheering, the laughter. I just embrace the chaos that comes with a blended family — especially a house full of girls.”
Melanie said Hawkins is the perfect balance in their family.
“He is the quiet in the storm,” she said. “He is a man of few words, but he listens with his whole heart. He can heal a fighting spirit just by making the other person feel heard. Doug is a great listener, and listening is an art that requires a person to put another’s feelings before his own. Doug has that art form down to a science.” Melanie adds.
As with his older daughters, Hawkins shares a special bond with Caroline and Anabelle.
“They have different personalities, but both are full of energy and happiness,” Hawkins said. “Caroline is the investigator; she enjoys researching every detail of some subject she is interested in. Anabelle has a ‘never give up’ attitude and always seems to be smiling. Both girls like to sing, just like their mom.”
Anabelle, who has cerebral palsy, said Hawkins is the only daddy she has known and has made a significant impact on her young life.
“First, he taught me how to yell at SEC officials,” she said. “And he has always taken me out of my wheelchair and made sure I was physically able to do what my friends were doing.”
Caroline said she especially appreciates Hawkins for being there for her.
“I can remember wanting a daddy so badly when I was little,” she said. “He’s spent many selfless hours at dance competitions, beauty reviews, softball games, and football and soccer games. I think I respect him most for being our daddy, even though he doesn’t have to be.”
While Hawkins did not offer advice for blended families, he maintains planning is important.
“You need to make sure you have time for your biological children and your stepchildren,” he said. “It’s important to have one-on-one time with each.”
Part of that family time centers around the kitchen. Hawkins enjoys cooking and his culinary creations — especially his gumbo and crawfish, according to daughter Maggie — have been a way for the whole family to come together at mealtime.
“After my mom passed away, my dad had to adapt to take on both roles for my sister and me. He learned how to fix our hair in the mornings before school, help pick out our outfits, and other daily duties. He was always so supportive; he was at every gymnastics meet, dance recital, cheer competition.” Doug Hawkins’ daughter Maggie, 20.
“He’s spent many selfless hours at dance competitions, beauty reviews, softball games, and football and soccer games. I think I respect him most for being our daddy, even though he doesn’t have to be.” Doug Hawkins’ daughter Caroline, 14.
“He is the quiet in the storm. He is a man of few words, but he listens with his whole heart. He can heal a fighting spirit just by making the other person feel heard.” Doug Hawkins’ wife Melanie.