GUEST VIEW: Are we there yet?

Published 10:00 am Thursday, December 26, 2019

If you’ve ever been a child (yes), you’ve likely asked the question, “Are we there yet?” If the memory of asking that question has faded, there are many children around who use that phrase regularly. Our thoughts are usually hearkened back to being on some sort of journey and impatiently wishing we were at our destination already.

I know as a child I have asked that question. Maybe in a different way as an adult, we’ve longed for an answer to the same theme. Time is hard to judge and seems to slow down or speed up at different parts of our lives. The old saying, “Time flies when you’re having fun…” alludes to the opposite, ‘time drags when you’re not having fun’.

Research in recent years has indicated that this feeling is very common. The scientists studied human reactions to different activities that were either mundane or appealing. The research subjects almost all had similar responses to time depending on the positive or negative feelings about the activities. One of the lessons from this research is that time does seem to pass faster when we are part of goal-directed meaningful activities. Finding meaning is up to the person experiencing the activities.

It is also common for us to question, “Why hasn’t the thing that I imagined happened yet?” or “Am I doing what I am supposed to be doing now?” Finding meaning in our lives is crucial. We can become frustrated when we focus on what hasn’t happened yet. What if we focus on what good has happened so far?

Another helpful thought is based on something called the Power of Yet. When we experience negative feelings about the circumstances we are experiencing or expectations for ourselves or others being unmet, try this. Instead of saying, “I’m not good at this…”, “I don’t understand this…”, “I can’t do this…”, “I can’t conquer this…”, or many other variations of negative thoughts, add this simple word ‘yet’. For example, “I’m not good at this yet…”, “I don’t understand this yet…”, “I can’t do this yet…”, “I can’t conquer this yet…” Notice, that it gives you space for a positive future that is in process, thus giving hope and meaning for where you are at present.

Look at your circumstances. Though there is a natural tendency to look at what realities you may not have seen come to pass, place the power back into your own hands. Acknowledging the many ‘yets’ from your past that have been accomplished in your life, even to a small degree. Know that there is Power in Yet.

We may not be there yet, but we are all well on our way.

Spencer Blalock, DHA, LCSW, BCD, is a clinical specialist with Senior Care – a service of Rush Health Systems. If you are a senior adult struggling with worry, sadness, or loss and/or are struggling with coping with daily living, Senior Care can offer help and hope. Contact us at 601-703-4917 for more information or visit www.rushhealthsystems.org/seniorcare.