Just call me Shorty …

Now everyone who knows me, everyone … is aware that I am not short.

For Pete’s Sake, I am 5’8” and my lineage is Scandinavian, that’s right – VIKING! I mean my sons are 6’3” and 6’5” – nope, nothing remotely short here.

About the Viking part – once I confirmed the fact then I knew maybe that is why I have sometimes wanted to “cut-a-throat,” just saying.

Moving right along – there has been a strange occurrence, lately. You see I have developed short arms. How do I know this, you might wonder? Read further and I will explain.

It’s crazy but I have developed problems reaching drive-through’s. I’ve tried everything. Like at the bank this week. I had a rather large deposit (doesn’t happen too often). I stretched, unbuckled the seat belt, opened car door, put my foot on the pavement, straining, straining, staining, like p-l-e-a-s-e take my money. Yep, it wasn’t a pretty sight.

And it’s not just banks. The oddity has carried over to all fast foods and one of the worst is the drugstore. Sigh.

I just completed six weeks of physical therapy and I may have had (my term) “drive through-itis.”Good grief, there were pulled muscles and kinks, plus neck-stuff going on. Could be?

So what to do?

Well I’m not giving up drive-through’s, not trading cars, not growing longer arms therefore the only answer is a driver. Hello, Hubs!

That’s right; I will put Hubs behind the wheel whenever there is a drive-through involved. After all his arms are longer however he is only Irish, just doesn’t make sense. I don’t remember too many Ireland-type-guys with long arms?

He has always told me he’s special, so there you go.

Now when I have a hankering for fried chicken, I will have to make an appointment with the driver, when my meds renew or there is a need to make a bank deposit, I will have to round-up Hubs. The last one is not often, but the first one, well it’s too often.

It might be fun to have a full time driver. I could get him a cute, little uniform, like with shiny shoes. And he would receive a Christmas bonus (double from last year). You know zero times two is zero. He will be thrilled.

As I move into the ranks of a lady with a driver, I can foresee additional drive-through’s to visit and I will make a list, yeah. I love lists but Hubs is not too happy about them, however he is now “the driver” and doesn’t have a vote, but he does have an annual Christmas bonus and also a cute uniform.

One thing for sure, I will not grow longer arms. That’s what the driver is for.

Yeah, just call me Shorty …

Anne B. McKee is a Mississippi historian, writer and storyteller. She is listed on the Mississippi Humanities Speakers Bureau and Mississippi Arts Commission’s Performing Artist and Teaching Artist Rosters. See her web site: www.annemckeestoryteller.com