With the weather changing, we see decorations of fall all around. The majority of the decorations come as nature changes colors and sheds this years’ leaves, limbs, and last fruits. As we drive around, we may see pumpkins or other gourds on fence posts, signaling the seasonal changes and reminding us of passing time.

This image brings to mind natural progression of life. The season begins the year with winter as the Earth gives time for the grounds, air, and waters to remove the decay of the past year. Then comes spring, as the earth begins to wake up with a clean start and new beginnings. Later, summer draws out all of the years’ colors and maximizes the growth of all life. And now, fall has come to allow the earth and all life to release the leftovers of the year in preparation to start again.

Considering the patterns of change that naturally occur around us, we know that the pumpkins and gourds that are placed upon the fence tops will not last. Weather, time, animal-life, and gravity will likely remove these fruits from their fence tops and use the nutrients for the life that will follow in the coming year.

The interesting thing about this image is that often, we humans have the tendency to see the natural changes around us and figuratively hold on to our place on the ‘fence.’ Maybe it’s a bad experience, maybe it’s a bad habit, maybe it’s a grudge, or some other negative thing in our lives that we put on top of the ‘fence’ in hopes of being able to not have to work on it.

Sometimes we call this “sitting on the fence”. We recognize the need to let go of the negative thing or habit but we may not feel ready. Another word for this is ambivalence. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, ambivalence is defined as “uncertainty or indecisiveness as to which course to follow” or “mixed feelings or emotions; uncertainty or vacillation in making a choice.”

Ambivalence does not allow the negatives to fall away. Essentially, nature demonstrates the need for letting old things be put away in order to move forward. Keeping the old stuff around does not allow for new growth.

What is it that you have left up on the ‘fence?’ It may be helpful for you to write down issues that are the still on the ‘fence’ this year. These may be issues that you know need to be dealt with but you can’t decide what to do. Write the issue at the top of a piece of paper and divide the page into “Why to Change” and “Why to Remain the Same”. Next, honestly write the answers to the questions. When you have spent some time considering these the reasons for ‘sittin’ on the fence’, you may find motivation to change and get off the ‘fence’.

You can do this and you are worth making the changes. If you are challenged by feeling unable to move beyond ambivalence, let someone help you work through making a decision to move toward peace, happiness, and growth.

Spencer Blalock, DHA, LCSW, BCD, is a clinical specialist with Senior Care – a service of Rush Health Systems. If you are a senior adult struggling with worry, sadness, or loss and/or are struggling with coping with daily living, Senior Care can offer help and hope. Call 601-703-4917 for more information or visit www.rushhealthsystems.org/seniorcare.