It’s not right, that little whiney voice. I mean I have tried to be polite – you know “please and thank you.” However, I have given up. I declare this day forward, Miss Whiney voice will not be part of my life, but as you well know and I well know the voice is here to stay and there is nothing we can do about it.

Nothing but complaining and so today I have come to testify.

I am not complaining alone. No, there are thousands of us, especially Hubs. Just let his iPhone ring and the ID register “unknown” or a number unfamiliar to him, and then the voice will come alive. “Ehello, Mr. McKei,” the whiney voice will say. “There are no problums with your credit card but …” that’s when Hubs slams down the phone.

Or the next call which, goes like this: “Is Joanne there?” I seem to get that one most often. Oh, it is one of my favorites. NOT!

Well it could be a favorite, because I enjoy a bit of mischief with the caller when I answer. “Hello? Hello? Is this Gertrude?” That will get the Joanne caller off of the line in a hurry.

And perhaps we have all received the call from an IRS pretender? It goes like this: With an irate voice the caller begins, “Hello Mrs. McKee. This is the IRS and you owe Thirty Go-zillion dollars which must be paid immediately.” After these words there is a deadly silence as the caller expects a quivering voice.

I believe the first time this call rang at the McKee Ranch, I did answer rather demurely, like a little ole lady (I faked that part) who was ready to give out my bank card number and password. Because I had received word a few weeks earlier, I was expecting the call. I called up my acting skills and asked this in a rather shaken, breathless, voice. “Please call back at 8 p.m.,” I gulped.

Well those suckers were punctual, because at 8 p.m. on the nose, the whiney voice was on the line. “Mrs. McKee, as you requested, we, at the IRS, have returned our call.”

Boy, oh, boy was I ready for them. Suddenly my demure voice became almost a screech. I mean I really pulled out my dramatic skills for this. “You sorry pieces of ……” and THEY hung up and have never called again.

I think I enjoyed it too much. Sigh.

Last week Hubs practically pranced into the TV room holding a piece of paper. It was a No Call List for iPhones’. We immediately grabbed our phones and keyed in the number. There was a rather pleasant voice on the other end of the line and after we punched a few numbers, we were officially on the list. We were overwhelmed.

But this week, the calls continue, however, I have hope. I know these things take time.

I began to think of life without the calls and well, it might be a little boring. As I stated earlier, I sort of enjoyed my “Joanne” calls and I think my IRS call could have earned an Academy Award or at least an Emmy.

But on a lazy, too quiet day, I can always call out.

Anne B McKee is a Mississippi historian, writer and storyteller. She is listed on the Mississippi Humanities Speakers Bureau and Mississippi Arts Commission’s Performing Artist and Teaching Artist Rosters. See her web site: www.annemckeestoryteller.com