Do you ever find yourself thinking, “If I only had the life that so-and-so has, my life would be so good?” Or, maybe it is looking into the past with the thought, “I didn’t measure up to what so-and-so achieved; I guess I wasn’t as good as they were…”

Those thoughts can be depressing because they focus on images that are deceptive. What looks good on the surface doesn’t show the layers of blessings, benefits, burdens, headaches, heartaches, stresses, values, circumstances, or a million other factors that ‘so-and-so’ has to face.

A story is told of a group of people on a journey. Each person on the journey was of similar ages and body types and each carried various sizes and brands of backpacks. Some were new and some were well-worn. As the journey started, each person was excited and determined to enjoy the challenge ahead. Somewhere along the way, someone notices how quickly one person goes along the journey with a backpack that seems to be “just right” for making the journey easier. Everyone trades backpacks for the one that appears “just right”. At first, the trade seems great. However, the initial feelings fade and the backpacks that were traded feel heavier on the shoulders. The discomfort increases to an annoying pain in the lower back or seems to make the back more sweaty. Just a mile into the exchange, everyone chooses to take back their original pack. The reason, they were accustomed to their own burden and its weight was more manageable.

We could easily compare our current situations or past to those of others we envy. The problem is, there is no way to compare all factors side-by-side and create an equal result. No one has the same upbringing, the same experiences, the same friends, that same burdens, the same strengths, the same challenges, etc… We cannot compare apples and oranges.

We are accustomed to the comparison of costs. When we make decisions, we consider the costs and benefits of one decision over another. Comparing costs is important to acquire the best results. However, it may be beneficial to consider the costs of comparison and avoid paying the price of envying the lives of those around us. Mark Twain stated, “Comparison is the death of joy”. The costs of comparison include increased worry, increased depression, loss of joy in the moment, loss of peace, and waste of valuable emotional, physical, social, and spiritual energy. Don’t waste your valuable energy.

Dennis Waitley is quoted as saying, “I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.” Avoid discounting the blessings you enjoy that may be rare to someone else. Let us enjoy the peace of knowing that we can only live our own lives and realize that “all that glitters is not gold”. You likely have ‘gold’ that others envy. Be at peace and remember, “You are not competing with anyone else. You are only competing with yourself to do the best with whatever you have received.” (Tom Perry).

Spencer Blalock, DHA, LCSW, BCD, is a clinical specialist with Senior Care – a service of Rush Health Systems. If you are a senior adult struggling with worry, sadness, or loss and/or are struggling with coping with daily living, Senior Care can offer help and hope. Contact us at 601-703-4917 for more information or visit www.rushhealthsystems.org/seniorcare.