Perhaps you’ve heard someone say, “I’m having a ‘bad hair day’!” Perhaps you are the one having a ‘bad hair day’ right now, or perhaps you are wishing you had hair to have a ‘bad hair day’ about.

All jest aside, it happens to men too, but less frequently than women. The phrase usually indicates that after all attempts to clean, straighten, curl, shape, brush, color, pin, braid, hide the thinness, or manage one’s hair, that the hair has chosen to do the opposite. It can be infuriating, embarrassing and sometimes funny. Another meaning for having a “bad hair day” points to a general sense of blah, or better said, “I’m just not feeling it today… I’ve tried and I just don’t have it in me to ‘do’ this day… Maybe tomorrow…”

Can you identify?

You may have witnessed commercials on television with models portraying ‘bad hair days’ and how they handle it. Within a few seconds, hair goes from a wreck to shiny and totally perfect. But there’s a subtle catch, if you merely purchase and use their product (or get a personal stylist to take care of your hair daily), you are promised that it will “give you control” of your hair. However, rarely does this work out as promised.

Media portrays a world in which “control” can be acquired through purchase. Media and the world insinuate that if you join up with whatever is being marketed, you will gain “control” over one, many, or all areas of your life. How we wish that they could deliver on their promises!

Likely, what we see more of is “out of control” aspects of life. Can you wish bad weather away? Can you think away the calories? Can you schedule the number of heartbeats you experience in a day? Can you make someone see what you see or feel what you feel? Can you love someone enough to change them? Getting control is much more involved than we often consider.

As I work with individuals whose lives feel “out of control,” I have found something very interesting. When people feel that their lives are “out of control,” they ironically are admitting to a truth that they are not ready to accept. As we view the world around us and begin to analyze what we have control over, if we are honest, open, and willing to accept it, we will see that there is very little outside of the confines of our individual minds and behaviors which we actually control.

This “out of control’ feeling is more pronounced when we can’t acknowledge or accept that we are only the driver of the vehicle of our minds, hearts, and behaviors. When we relinquish the need to control the uncontrollable, we are actually much more “in control” than we ever were. Stephen R. Covey states, “I am not a product of my circumstances, I am a product of my choices…” Choose to release control of your surroundings, the choices of others, the weather, the political climate, how fast your grass grows, and any one of a trillion things that you feel a need to control.

Max Lucado expressed this sentiment so well when he said, “God is God. He knows what He is doing. When you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart…” Those who follow this counsel find peace and transfer peace to those around them.

If you’re literally having a “bad hair day,” let it go and chalk it up to being a human. May you have many “good hair days” in your future!

Spencer Blalock, DHA, LCSW, BCD, is a clinical specialist with Senior Care – a service of Rush Health Systems. If you are a senior adult struggling with worry, sadness, or loss and/or are struggling with coping with daily living, Senior Care can offer help and hope. Call us at 601-703-4917 for more information or visit www.rushhealthsystems.org/seniorcare.