“God has been so good to me.”

Carla Vaughn-Perkins says the words with a faint smile on her lips and not even a hint of irony, as she sits wrapped in a red blanket.

The public educator and former mental health professional is having an especially tough day – physically and emotionally – after going to her chemo treatment and learning that a test showed her cancer markers are higher than ever.

Still, Perkins, who has stage 4 colorectal cancer at the age of 43, is unwavering in her view of God’s goodness.

“I’m 43 years old,” she said. “God has used me to reach other people. I’ve had a good life – been blessed just to wake up every morning. That’s a good thing. I am able to see the sun shine through the window. I feel like God has been better than good. I’m not deserving of the blessings he’s given me.”

Perkins says she’s always been a fun person and a bit of a joker – but cancer has taught her how to be an optimist and to find joy in the everyday.

“It’s hard,” she said. “Cancer has changed me. It’s taught me how to take even bad news and flip it to be something good so that I can get through it. I’ve felt forsaken at times, but I’m in my right mind. I might be sick physically, but I’m in my right mind, I’m here with my family and no one is having to do anything much for me. Yes. God is good.”

Perkins was first diagnosed in October 2016. At that point, she was stage 2. The cancer went into remission for a period, but she learned in September 2017 that it had returned and spread.

“I really didn’t expect that,” she said, referring to the recurrence. “I felt great. I thought I was OK and just living life. That hit me hard. It hit us all hard.”

Perkins says “us” because she recognizes that she is fighting as part of a team – one that includes medical staff, her immediate and extended families, and a core group of friends. She says her husband, Cario Perkins, who she married in 2004, is her rock – the person who is there for her during her toughest hours.

She also is especially thankful for her siblings — Daniel, Greg and Kristina, her father Celois Vaughn, and her uncle the Rev. Odell Hopkins, who also is her pastor.

Perkins is the mother of two children – 13-year-old daughter Jayda and 11-year-old son Amir. She said that her illness has “forced both of them to grow up quickly.” Because of her energy level and pain, Perkins says she isn’t always able to help her children with school projects or to drive them to school but she does what she can.

And earlier this month, the Perkins family actually added a new member – a brown-and-white Shitzu puppy with one blue eye and one brown.

“Cario wanted me to have Bella to keep me entertained,” she said, laughing. “She’s the latest addition to the Perkins Palace. I guess it’s working so far.”

Perkins, who has been unable to work since January, said that she tries to journal most days, writing down Bible verses that she has read and things that are on her mind. She also tries to jot down anything she did that day – going to chemo, seeing a friend, going to eat breakfast when she is feeling up to it.

“I want my kids to be able to look back and know what I was thinking on a certain day – what I did,” she said.

She spends a lot of time praying, listening to praise and worship music, and reading the Bible. She also reads a variety of books. Because her husband is able to work from home, she also sees more of him than she did when she was working.

“It sounds strange, but we’ve begun to date more,” she said. “We’ve been married 15 years, and sometimes in that time you can lose your way. But if anything, this has made my marriage stronger. I depend on him – some days he’s my left and my right hand.”

Perkins said when she was healthy, she sometimes was tempted to put her marriage on the back burner, spending her days cooking, working, chauffeuring her children to after-school activities, handling bedtime routines, and then collapsing.

“Sometimes we really weren’t together much until the end of the day,” she recalled. “Now, we make that time more of a priority. We’ve learned …..”

Cancer isn’t the only hardship she’s faced. In 2010, the family’s house burned down, declared a “total loss” by the insurance company. Other extended family members also have recently been ill, she said.

Perkins’ life actually started with a traumatic experience – the death of her mother, who passed away about 12 hours after she was born. She went on to be raised by her grandmother, who is now in her 90s and both healthy and active for her age.

Carla Vaughn-Perkins

“Cancer has changed me. It’s taught me how to take even bad news and flip it to be something good so that I can get through it. I’ve felt forsaken at times, but I’m in my right mind. I might be sick physically, but I’m in my right mind, I’m here with my family and no one is having to do anything much for me. Yes. God is good.”

–Carla Vaughn-Perkins

Perkins said that she thinks being positive and thankful is the right thing to do – but she also said she chooses the positive path because it’s the healthiest one for her.

“If I focused on the negative, I think I would be dead by now – I really do,” she said.

Having a positive mindset is the first piece of advice she says she would give to someone with a new cancer diagnosis.

“You can’t focus on the negative,” she said. “You have to center yourself around positive people. Toxic people and situations – the language they use can get you in a bad place.”

Perkins said that she has one piece of advice for anyone who is struggling – physically or emotionally.

“Get out of bed,” she said. “Even on my worst day, I make it a point to get out of bed. I think a lot of negative thinking – physically but also mentally – comes from staying in bed. We have to get up and start our days, we have to try – even on the hard days. I think that’s true of all of us.”