Denise Salmon Burditus turned 50 in June. An Army wife, she and her husband, Tony, a recently-retired Special Forces soldier, were thrilled to settle down to a post-retirement life in their West Virginia hometown — the same town where they first fell in love.

“They were high school sweethearts,” said Christina Burditus, Denise’s daughter in-law. “They were just like….well, you would want to be that couple. They were that much in love.”

In retirement, there’d be more time for travel, more time to explore life’s deferred priorities. More time to spend with Christina, her husband Josh (Tony and Denise’s son) and their three children — all of whom had moved from Cullman, Alabama, to Martinsburg, West Virginia area in August, just to bring the family closer together.

Denise died in Las Vegas Sunday night, one of the 59 victims who lost their lives during the Route 91 Harvest country music festival shooting. She and Tony loved country music and were vacationing in Las Vegas this year, making a repeat appearance at the same festival they’d enjoyed together in the past.

Wounded, Denise was placed in a private vehicle with Tony at her side. The evening’s high casualty count, coupled with the emerging threat, had already exhausted the local ambulance service. She died in her husband’s arms on her way to a hospital.

But Denise’s family doesn’t want the tragic circumstances of her death to define her memory.

“We want to make sure her memory lives on, but not by how she died — because she was so much more than that,” said Christina.

“She would have done anything for any of us. The memories I want my kids to have are things like her and Tony taking them on their first trip to Disney. Camping; going down the East coast. That’s how I want my kids to remember her, and that’s how I want to remember her: just how much she loved them; how she made sure that they knew that they were loved.”

Denise and Tony were married for 32 years — 26 of those as an Army couple. They had two children: Josh and his younger sister, Mallorie. In marriage, said Christina, Denise was a exemplary military wife. When work required Tony to make a move, Denise was there to support her husband and help the children adapt.

“She was just the ultimate Army wife — dedicated, you know? — and the backbone of her family,” she said. “She was patriotic and loved her country.”

Two days after the tragedy, the Burditus family was reeling. Christina spoke with The Cullman Times by phone, while Tony prepared late Tuesday for an interview with Anderson Cooper on CNN.

None of that represents the kind of attention any of the victims of the Route 91 shooting would have asked for.

And, like so many others affected by the tragedy, the Burditus family is determined to frame Denise’s life and memory on no one’s terms but their own.

“We do not want to have the emphasis placed on how Denise died,” said Christina. “There was just so much more to her. I hope that, by sharing her story, it is in honor of her life.”

Benjamin writes for the Cullman, Alabama Times.