Yes, it’s flu season and batting the bugs to and fro is very unpleasant. So, grab a tissue and take a slug of Nyquil or Dayquil – or whatever your doctor has prescribed, tuck your fav soft and cuddly blanket around you, and we shall commiserate together.

Someone asked if I had a little touch of the flu – I answered, “NO, I’ve had a Big Whack of the Flu.” Let me tell you all about it.

I attended a large convention at Starkville last week and in attendance were some lovely ladies of the Mississippi Federated Women’s Clubs. I sat and observed the dignity of one of Mississippi’s largest (women only) volunteer groups as they gave reports of their great achievements statewide during 2008. As a group working together, the organization raised over one million dollars and then they donated the money to special projects. The women organized community projects – from the arts to education, conservation, community safety, health, home life, and so much more. Through this group, the ladies of our state work diligently to make an overwhelming difference for the Mississippi quality of life.

So, there I sat, just soaking up the uplifting reports when it started. Cough. … Cough. … Cough, Cough, Cough! Oh my, suddenly it seemed all eyes were upon me! The nice lady sitting next to me, Mary Ethridge, offered me a stick of peppermint and it helped for a while, just a little while. And then it began again. If I could have slide on my belly to get to the water fountain, I would have. I was so embarrassed because I was certain EVERYONE could not hear the program and good reports because of me. Finally I made my getaway and headed for the ladies room where I coughed myself silly and was certain it was safe to return to the convention hall, but I was wrong. Finally I had to leave early and missed the most exciting awards presentations of the entire meeting. I’m certain if there had been an award for Mississippi Federated Women’s Club Coughing Champion, that would have been me.

Cough, sneeze, sore throat, clogged ears, watery eyes, headache, aching limbs, and tumbling stomach – all flu type complaints and most of the time they are not life threatening. However, when one is in the throes of the flu trauma, it certainly seems terminal. As I have recovered, I’ve felt a little guilty of my loud complaints. I mean, Good Grief, I’m so healthy otherwise and I’m very thankful, but …

Yes, if I experience the flu bug during 2010, I’ll probably whine again – that’s just me.

Now that I am post flu bug, I have big plans. I shall avoid the aggravating kidney infections by gulping cranapple juice instead of my favorite, Diet Coke. I will. I will. Gosh, I hope will. I shall drink eight full glasses of water each day. I shall enjoy lovely green salads (even though my husband calls them “Rabbit food”). I shall limit the fried foods and increase grilled or baked. I shall increase my grain input and lower fatty foods. Uh-huh, sounds like a plan, and reminds me of a cute little joke sent to me by my cousin, June. It was sent to me as an email forward. I’m not quoting it word for word because it is a little lengthy:

The elderly husband and wife entered Heaven’s Gates at almost the same time. There waiting for them was St. Peter and he conducted a tour of their new Heavenly Home. He pointed out their beautiful mansion including a bathroom with a waterfall. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the huge closet. A championship golf course was located next door and there were no green fees. “All free,” said St. Peter. There was no gym for the bone

crushing workouts, like on Earth. No need to test sugar and blood pressure. The clubhouse offered a lavish buffet for every meal including steaks, seafood, and exotic desserts. The man commented, “Hmm, I don’t know about this. I have to watch my fat and eat foods low in cholesterol.” “Not in Heaven,” answered St. Peter. The old man glared at his wife and said, “You and your stinking bran flakes. We could have been here ten years ago!”

Whoopee! No more coughing for me today — just a little bowl of bran flakes, a glass of cranapple juice, a nice salad waiting for me in the frig, and salmon on the grill for dinner. Living my wonderful Mississippi life, one cough free day at the time.



Correction: I extend an apology to Mrs. Mary Perry. The correct name of the book she is reading is “The Purpose Driven Life.”





Anne McKee is a writer and storyteller. She lives in Meridian. Anne is listed on the Mississippi Artist Roster as a literary artist and storyteller, and she is active with the arts and educational communities throughout Mississippi.