There’s a difference in being friendly and being a friend. Being friendly with folks ought to be a given. That’s a concept as old as Luke 6:31, as in “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

But I’m talking about being a real backs-to-the-wall, get-down-in-the-ditch-with-’em friend to somebody. What’s the true measure of that? The late Oscar-nominated actress Marlene Dietrich once quipped, “It’s the friends you can call at 4 a.m. who really matter.”

One person I wouldn’t hesitate to call upon at any time is a gentleman named Mark McPhail, who just recently retired as the longtime chief executive officer of Jeff Anderson Regional Medical Center with a stellar list of career accomplishments to his credit. It has been my privilege to know Mark on a professional and personal basis for the past 11 years. Professionally speaking, we have worked closely as colleagues in offering health occupations programming for the people of Lauderdale County and beyond. Meridian Community College provides on-campus programming for students in such curriculums as nursing, radiological technology, respiratory therapy, and medical laboratory technology, while Rush Health Systems, Jeff Anderson, and Riley Hospital have long been vital clinical affiliates, where students practice hands-on health care skills.

Thanks to the support of those three hospitals, MCC has significantly increased the size of its nursing and radiological technology programs as well as initiated a surgical technology curriculum. The outstanding leaders of those agencies, Wallace Strickland for Rush, Steve Nichols (who has since taken another position) at Riley, and Mark McPhail for JARMC formed an alliance some years ago to provide for the expansion and technical advancement of the aforementioned programs, creating numerous career opportunities that would have otherwise never materialized. In doing so, they also contributed mightily to our community’s economic development.

My personal relationship with Mark is something that transcends business, however. I first met Mark and his lovely family – wife, Wanda; daughters Haley and Morgan; and son David – when my spouse, Claudia, and I joined Collinsville United Methodist Church. The McPhails are one of the pioneer families of the Collinsville community. McPhail’s Grocery on Hwy. 19, where Mark toiled for his father as a youth, is legendary.

To illustrate the kind of man Mark is, permit me to relate just one anecdote. Shortly after the Elliotts moved to Martin in 1998, Claudia was en route to Meridian when her car suddenly blew a tire. That stranded my pretty, petite blond on the side of the road. Of course, to me it is always worrisome for any lady to find herself in such a predicament. These days and times, you just never know who might happen along.

In this case, God sent a Good Samaritan named Mark McPhail to the rescue. He pulled over to render assistance, getting down in the dirt and roadside gravel in his Sunday-best clothes to change out that tire. But he didn’t stop there, insisting that he follow Claudia back to our house to make certain she returned home safely.

I guess that’s what true friends do. They go above and beyond, no questions asked.

What I came to learn about Mark over the years is that he routinely exhibits that kind of caring and kindness to lots of folks. On the job, Mark always made time to push aside the paperwork and pay personal visits to hospital rooms to check on patients. And he didn’t do it because it was good business; he did it because he is a good person.

I will most certainly miss Mark as a professional associate. Like Wallace Strickland and new Riley CEO Pam Tvarkunas, Mark is an alumnus of MCC. The college is very fortunate that all of those quality leaders take an active interest in the growth and mission of the institution. (As a matter of fact, Wallace and Mark are members of MCC’s Eagle Hall of Fame.)

It’s a blessing that friendships outlive retirements. I will still get to visit with Mark at church and continue to observe his very positive influence in the lives of others. Mark, in his quiet, unassuming way, leads in the only manner that really counts – by example. Whatever Mark says on Monday is still going to be good on Tuesday. He loves his God, his family, his friends, and his community. In short, Mark is the me that I would like to be.

Yes, Ms. Dietrich, I know I could call upon Mark at 4 a.m. or any time, for that matter, and his response would be, “Whenever and wherever you need me.”

Now, having said all that, I have one final word for my cherished friend. That is, Mark, my heartiest congratulations on your well-deserved retirement. Enjoy the deer and turkey hunting and bouncing your ever-increasing flock of grandkids on your knee. Just don’t try to take Wanda (MCC’s prolific tennis coach) with you any time soon. We’ve still got a few more championships to win out here before she takes it to the house.