Holiday season can be a time of sadness for some

Love, Sidney

Discussion

November 20, 2008

Anonymous The Meridian Star Tue Dec 08, 2009, 01:58 PM CST

Got a problem you'd like to share with Sidney? Write to her at: The Meridian Star, P.O. Box 1591, Meridian, MS 39301 or e-mail her at sidneycovington@comcast.net. All submissions are confidential and go directly to Sidney.

Dear Sidney,

On Wednesday, Oct. 15, my birthday, I lost my best friend in a traffic accident. He and I were very close and could tell each other anything. Since then, I can't stop thinking about him and with the holiday approaching feel sad and lonely.

His family decided to cremate his remains (his wish), so there is not really a place to go to and find comfort like some do by visiting the graves of their loved ones. He was a friend to all that knew him. Never was he without a smile on his face, or finding a way to joke about a delicate situation at hand.

One thing that he taught me was to never be ashamed to tell someone "I love you," his classic departure from any phone conversation he had with his friends and family. His philosophy was that he could rest assured that people close to him knew how he felt about them.

In my mind, I keep replaying conversations and memories over and over in my head. I hear a song on the radio that reminds me of him. He and I loved to cook together and now when I'm in the kitchen, I relive those memories as well. He was a friend that I could count on. At times, I have a good laugh at his expense, like the night we were both so broke, we found $5 between us and cooked a ground beef, rice and cheese casserole for dinner. We skimped on every ingredient except for the classic Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup. Forget the fact it was nearly a dollar a can; the Piggly Wiggly brand was half as much. Some things you can't skimp on he'd say. Half the price, half the flavor. Boy was he wise.

We had many good times together that I will always cherish. I know without a doubt that he is in our heavenly home and probably keeping the angels in stitches as he did us. I was taught at an early age that God has a purpose for each of our lives and when it is our time to go, no matter where we are or what we are doing, God takes us when he needs us and we need to be ready. He was and I am.

Time will heal my pain and loss. There will always be an empty spot in my heart for him, but you can't help remembering your loved ones during the holidays. Best friends are hard to find. As the saying goes, "It takes a minute to make a friend, but a lifetime to forget them." He was my best friend.

Sincerely,

Sad and Lonely

Dear Sad and Lonely,

Life is full of treasures and one of the best treasures is friendship. While it's obvious you feel a tremendous loss, your letter is a beautiful tribute to your friend. Your letter is a poignant reminder to all of us that as we enter the holiday season, we should be mindful of others – remembering that holidays are not always full of joy. For many, this will be the first Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hanukkah without a loved one. For others, it can be filled with loneliness.

Hold those you love close to you. Reach out to strangers with a smile. Don't diminish yourself by returning an unkindness with an unkindess. Forgive rudeness ... regardless. Don't tell others to "remember the Reason for the Season;" instead, SHOW them.

If you find it difficult to tell someone you love them, that's the very person who should hear it. Give thanks and above all, remember to give God the glory.

Love,

Sidney

• Sidney Covington has a master's degree in counseling. She is a patient advocate and public relations representative for Riley Hospital.