Keep thoughts to self about friend’s ‘supposed’ affair

Love, Sidney

Discussion

August 7, 2008

Sidney Covington The Meridian Star Thu Aug 07, 2008, 05:50 PM CDT

Got a problem you'd like to share with Sidney? Write to her at: The Meridian Star, P.O. Box 1591, Meridian, MS 39301 or e-mail her at sidneycovington@comcast.net. All submissions are confidential and go directly to Sidney.

Editor's note: Response has been so positive to previously run columns, we're running another one this week.

Dear Sidney,

This problem is killing me! My husband and I are friends with another couple and have been real close for a number of years. We even have kids the same age, so we're thrown together a lot! In addition to that, she and I even work together.

The problem is is that I'm pretty sure that "she" is having an affair with another man — one who works in our office. I've seen her flirting with him and talking to him more than their jobs require. On a couple of occasions I've walked into her office while she was on the computer and she quickly minimizes the screen so that I can't see what she's doing. I'm sure they are e-mailing each other, too.

The other day, I walked in on them in the mail room and while they weren't touching or anything, I could just feel the romantic tension between them. What do I do?? Do I tell her that I know what's going on and risk our friendship, hint to her husband in front of her so that she knows that I know, or what? I've thought of so many things and just don't know how to handle this. What should I do??

Sitting on a secret.

Dear sitting ...

Handle what? So far, all you have are two things: one is some curious coincidences and the other is a vivid or overactive imagination. Have you considered that maybe nothing is going on? You might just be assigning some incorrect meanings to some innocent behavior.

Regardless, sister, this problem ain't yours. Keep your thoughts to yourself. The friendship between you, your husband and the other couple is what you need to be concentrating on. Stick your nose into this other thing, and you can kiss the friendship goodbye.

IS it worth that? I know that your intentions are honorable since you care for your friend, but unless you've been in the room, in their presence, when they've been doing 'more than sorting the mail,' you don't really know anything.

In other words: KYMS.

Love, Sidney

• Sidney Covington has a master's degree in counseling. She is a patient

advocate and public relations

representative for Riley Hospital.

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Love, Sidney

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