from staff reports



Each morning when Mary comes to work, her co-workers make fun and laugh at her clothes. They roughly push by her in the hall, causing her to stumble into the wall. They punch her time card in and out and hide things on her desk. She is the butt of countless practical jokes. Someone once put dead roaches in her lunch box. Mary’s boss seems not to notice this behavior and considers it to be just part of the workplace. But she does wonder why Mary is taking part in fewer company activities and seems to be sick and absent more frequently.

Mary is a victim of bullying. And chances are, this imaginary scene would not be tolerated in the workplace. But behavior like this, and worse, happens daily in schools, often with children as young as preschool.

Current research shows that bullying presents a serious problem in schools and elsewhere. The American Psychological Association cites it as a “serious public health problem” in APA Online. A recent national survey found that students in grades K-12 ranked bullying as their number one concern at school.

Unfortunately, national studies show teachers and staff see only about 4% of bullying incidents. Many parents and educators dismiss bullying as “a rite of passage,” justify it as opportunities to “toughen up” or write it off as “kids will be kids”.

"When we ignore bullying, we are setting up the bully, the bullied and the bystanders for significant problems now and in the future," said Dr. Susan Eaves, a behavioral specialist and therapist in the Division of Children and Youth Services at Weems Community Mental Health Center.

"We need to think of bullying not as roughhousing but as peer abuse. If we saw a parent do to a child or a husband do to a wife, what we see many children do to each other, we would more easily recognize it as abuse," Eaves said.

Eaves will present a free seminar “Bullying AKA Peer Abuse” Thursday in the Emma McCain Theater at Meridian Community College. The program is co-sponsored by Weems Community Mental Health Center and Meridian Community College’s Continuing Education Department.

It’s estimated about 10 percent of the student body misses school every month because of fear and dread related to bullying, explained Dr. Eaves. Children may report more frequent illnesses, become fearful or want to avoid school and have other serious problems as a result of peer abuse.

"There can be terrible consequences for everyone involved," said Eaves. "Bullies are more likely to occupy prison cells later in life. Victims are at increased risk for substance abuse, self-injury, poor academic performance, and depression. Bystanders are affected by the climate of fear, intimidation, and guilt."

Some victims, if victimized in a way that is constant, frequent, and severe, will end up hurting themselves or others, according to Eaves, who notes that the majority of the students who have become school shooters were bullied. "We’ve got a serious problem on our hands. It is affecting this community. We need to address it as a community," she said.

Eaves plans to explore the motivations of the bully and how the bully selects the victim. It is not necessarily the reasons one commonly expects, she said.

"Bullies try their antics on eight or nine children before they reach their preferred victim. That means that a large proportion of kids are responding in a way that is preventing the next attack. We need the remainder of kids to be able to do the same," said Eaves.

"There are very specific things victims can do to help prevent repeated episodes of bullying," continued Eaves. "The response we need them to have to decrease the bullying is not necessarily the one parents have been teaching for years. I will be very specific about what we need to do for these kids."

The real key to this problem is the bystander, according to Eaves.

"If your child is neither bullied or bullying others, I especially need your ear. Your child holds the key to this problem," she said. "These students have the power to change the environment of bullying. In other words, all students have the potential to be involved, directly or indirectly, in creating an environment that is intimidating, threatening and possibly dangerous or one that is respectful and safe."





Want to go?



What: Seminar “Bullying AKA Peer Abuse”

When: Thursday, from 5:30 p.m.-8 p.m.

Where: Emma McCain Theater at Meridian Community College, 910 Hwy. 19 North

Speaker: Dr. Susan Eaves, behavioral specialist and therapist in the Division of Children and Youth Services.

The seminar is open to all. Parents of toddlers through high school are especially encouraged to attend, as well as teachers, counselors, day care workers, and anyone who lives and works with children. Pre-registration is required by calling MCC at (601) 482-7445. The program is free unless registering for CEUs (.25 CEUS are available through MCC for $15.) A certificate of attendance for 2.5 contact hours or .3 Social Work Units (SWUs) is available upon request at no charge.

For more information or to download a flyer, visit www.weemsmh.com or contact Pace Cooke Emmons at Weems, 601-483-4821.

Co-sponsored by Weems Community Mental Health Center and Meridian Community College’s Continuing Education Department.