Second-hand virtue

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October 18, 2009

Anonymous The Meridian Star Sun Oct 18, 2009, 12:38 AM CDT

The UN’s declaration of carbon neutrality for the upcoming Copenhagen Environmental Conference is a curious example of modern logic. In order to counter the environmental impact of air travel for some 50 presidents, 35 prime ministers, their staffs, and thousands of attendees (estimated at 450 tons of carbon emissions), the UN has promised to earmark funding for a power plant in rural India that uses corn husks instead of fossil fuels to produce electricity.

Here’s the principle behind offsets: You’re planning on doing something you think is20bad and feel guilty about it. Rather than altering your actions, pay someone else to do something good to offset your negative impact and presto—no more guilt. Surely if the Copenhagen Conference organizers were concerned about the environmental impact of air travel they could have limited attendance or conducted meetings via video-teleconference. But curiously they decided to go ahead and do what they scold everyone else for and then offer to fund a Third World environmental project in their honor.

I’ll never criticize anyone for flying. On the contrary, as a pilot, I encourage people to fly and think that global temperatures are influenced far more by natural causes like the sun than my aircraft. My point is to expose this illogical but prevalent throwback to the Middle Age practice of selling indulgences.

Why stop with carbon? Couldn’t we sell offsets for morality? Say for instance you’re planning to get roaring drunk at a football game, cuss the refs, pick a fight, and sleep through church the next morning with a hangover. Wouldn’t it be great if there was a website where you could swipe your card and pay someone else to stay sober, call your mother, and be in bed by 10 (can you say BSU fundraiser?).

Feeling guilty about neglecting your kids? What if you could pay someone else (in rural India, perhaps) to help their children with homework and read them bedtime stories so that you can have a guys’ night out. See a little old lady with a flat tire on the side of the road but don’t want to help? Make a donation to the senior center and call it even. About to eat a dozen Krispy Kremes? Pay someone to fast so you can enjoy donuts while declaring yourself to be sugar neutral.

This sounds ridiculous because it is. Offsetting a vice here with a vicarious virtue there in an effort to keep the planet’s good/bad scales in balance is hypocritical. If someone thinks that airplanes or automobiles are destroying the planet, he should start walking everywhere he goes and lead by example. But you’ll notice that the high priests of environmental protection would rather everyone else reduce their consumption than do it themselves. It’s far easier just to tell us what to do and give away our tax dollars. What a convenient lie.

The idea of an offset rests in the boorish belief that you can do whatever you want as long as you’re willing to p ay someone else to clean up the mess left behind, and this mentality permeates society. How often do people see someone in need and feel guilty about it, but instead of helping personally, expect the government to act? Evidently buying second-hand virtue (especially with tax dollars) is preferable than practicing it ourselves.

Craig Ziemba is a military pilot who lives in Meridian. To have him speak at your event, email craigziemba@aol.com.

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