Let's be safe out there

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August 1, 2009

By Greg Bott / guest columnist The Meridian Star Sat Aug 01, 2009, 11:25 PM CDT

The bad side of town is in your living room, kitchen, and home office. The dark alley you are afraid to enter is in your child's bedroom. The good news is you can clean up the town and seal up the alley.

The town (good and bad) that I'm writing about is the Internet. It is an amazing, fun, educational, overwhelming, odd, and dangerous place and if you've been online to any extent, you already understand. Reading accounts of online child predators is scary and it should be. Be afraid for your children on the Internet and be sensible and wise with your response.

As a parent hearing about middle school teachers praying on minors using MySpace, my first inclination is to prohibit access to anything that might include even a tiny amount of risk. This approach is neither effective nor necessary.

This statistic may surprise you — according to a 2006 study by Wolak, Mitchell, and Finkelhor, only a small number of youth (4%) reported distressing online sexual solicitations which made them feel “very upset or afraid” or aggressive online sexual solicitations (4%), where the offender “asked to meet the youth in person; called them on the telephone; or sent them offline mail, money, or gifts."

Don't misunderstand me — the threat is very real and very, very serious, but let's keep our head and examine the threat carefully so we can best mitigate it and keep our children safe. Attempting to cut out the Internet from a child's world will likely result in that child finding another, unmonitored avenue.

Parents generally take one of two approaches to child Internet safety: near-total restriction from the Internet or unrestricted access to the Internet. A University of New Hampshire study cites more than 60% of parents have no filtering or Internet security software in place. In my experience, that number is significantly north of 80%. Most parents have no plan for Internet safety and with everything else going on in life, I completely understand. Let me help a little.

First, software to monitor and track Internet activity is helpful and necessary, but it alone is not the answer. A much more important step is to talk with your child. We tend to view our children as helpless victims and in many ways they are at a disadvantage on the Internet. Their lack of worldly experience makes them naive and sometimes overly trusting, but remember that these are the same children who, for the most part, run circles around their parents when it comes to Internet savvy-ness.

Arm your children with understanding. Carefully and thoughtfully explain the dangers of the Internet and your children will be their own best protection against Internet threats. Create an Internet family safety plan using resources already available to you on the Internet. Google "online child safety."

Here are elements of an effective Internet family safety plan: 1. Communication. Use an explicit "online safety pledge" (Google it to find dozens) to clarify your expectations and rules for accessing the Internet. 2. Visibility. Keep computers in high traffic areas of your home instead of in the privacy of a bedroom. 3. Security software. Install security/monitoring software and review/restrict sites visited and time spent on the Internet. 4. Access. Obtain the password for their MySpace and/or Facebook pages, e-mail, chat programs, etc., and review content. 5. Friend approval. Monitor and approve of new friends on social networking sites and chat programs. 6. Safe environment. For younger children, restrict their ability to install applications by NOT making them administrators of the computer and utilize sites such as Yahoo! Kids (kids.yahoo.com) or Ask for Kids (askkids.com) for searching and entertainment.

I'll leave you with what sarge used to say on Hill Street Blues, "Let's be safe out there."

Greg is owner of Bott Technology Solutions, which helps small to midsize businesses with computer technology needs and may be reached via e-mail at gregbott@bottinc.com or at 601-616-8509.

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